lil' crabby life..

once.. there is a lil' crabby.. she ealily to get touched.. she easily to like ppls.. or can say fall in love.. theres nth really good bout her.. and she used to live in her own world...

until she meet lots more frenz.. she meet more guys.. she found that d world outside her shell is better... she abandon her shell.. and live in the fancy world of the society..

but now... she regret... coz w/o her shell to protect her... she jz easily get hurt.. not physically.. but mentally.. spiritually..

she is back to her shell again.. not for any reason.. but jz to protect herself.. build up a defensive wall.. not only block d others.. but also seal her heart from getting hurt.. is too pain to get wound again..

so she choose to stop herself before get hurt.. let go everything before it hurt her..

she doubt.. do her doing the right thing? chossing d right way to do this...?

she just too coward to step forward.. and cant take it anymore.. if choose to step forward.. she cant act nth if anything happens...

so, she choose to remain d same and slowly get lost in their world.. this is d best way dat she can think of it..

perhaps.. lil' crabby can stand in front of her frenz n say "im nth at all!!" again lik last time.. back to her cartoon face.. cat act.. with a deep secret sealed in d deep bottom of her heart....

complicated ar!!!!

is jz happen is jz happen!!
i dunno how to say this out!! but IS JZ HAPPEN!!!!!!
arrrhhhhhhgggghhhhhhhh!!!!
im gonna bang myself to wall ady..
i jz hard to gv up on this..
i lik d feel whn we are helping each other to complete d same thing!!
jz lik whn we shooting law video!!
jz lik whn skytrex!!
jz lik whn we put on our effort on d event!!
i lik this feeling!! i love this feelings!!
is too great!! coz im sure dat im not alone that time!!
and im glad dat im not alone!!
i got u all.. i got u all beside me!! whn i turn around.. i still can see u all around me!!
i know this!! i knew it!!
we share d fun.. we share d joy!! and i really enjoy this very much!!!
bao bei, xue yi, mun, lao ba, lao ma, sai ma, xiao hui, and everyone!!!
YOU MAKE MY LIFE WONDERFUL!!! ^^ thanks a lot!!!

is all for my dear H8-ians frenz

this is d last event that H8-ians goin to do before finish d diploma n go for training..
dat means.. this is d last time that we can gather together to complete a task.. a challenge..

i still rmb whn we told to do d event for coursework.. not really willing to do it coz hv to do it with seniors.. n most of us hv bad impression on d senoirs... hahaha~

but now.. d event that we preparing now bond us together..
we have discussions.. agreements... disagreements.. quarrel.. beh song this n that..
but still we are still working out for d events..

im so appriciate on this event.. coz this will make my diploma more colorful n have a very memorialable.. i discovered many other faces of d fellow frenz.. haha.. we do work as a team.. we learn from each other.. we help each other...

indirectly.. our bond had tied 2gether... d h8-ians spirit.. a spirit that no one can substitute.. coz is only from all of us..

dear frenz.. thx u all.. thx a lot.. i learnt a lot form u all.. thx for willing to help out... thx for being beside me all d time.. thx for supporting me.. thx for guiding me.. and... thx for being my frenz~ i know dat i hardly have this done if u all are not with me~

THANKS~

dont test my limit!!

im sincerely warning here.. ediot! dont ever try to act cool n test my limit!!
do your job as a team mate.. dont u dragging other for doing that all alone!!
is bout YOUR marks n OUR marks too!!
if u DONT WANT to put effort in it.. jz tell teacher dat U ARE QUIT!!
dont stay at here dragging ppl down!!
trust mi.. u r a talented actor.. coz jz hv to act in front of ppl!!
U ARE NOTHING!!
if u wanna challenge on d teamwork.. great!! c'mon!!
u wil noe how wrong u have done!! including challenging on ppls!!
u better shut ur f'kin mouth and get those things done before d event!!
u better be good and make urself useful!! and bout d individual writing report..
ur name will be ruined!! trust mi.. if i can say this out..
dats means i will do it!!

and for others dat DONT KNOW WHAT U ARE DOING:
plz pick up and do ur job as a part of d group!!
plz do ur job nicely!!
if u dun wan ppl to complaint bout ur task n job.. jz do it nicely n shut those ppl mouth!!
dont ever only know how to say but DO NOTHING AT ALL!!

oh yes~!!

new new new new new~~~ LIFE~!!!
n.. d cycle gonna start real soon.. =.=
uhm.. i really kinda fed up wit d cycle....
okie.. jz have to get rid wit dat....
finding a place for myself...?
nop.. there no need to do dat..
coz i already have my place..
a place dat exist long time ago..
i know dat.. i knew dat~ ^^

anyway.. gambatta gambatte~!! @_@
dump anything.. everything dat u got.. ^^
this is d last sem b4 go training..
learn as much as u have.. learn as much as u got..
u will benefit from dat in future~
gogogo~!!

a book dat worth to read..

i bought this book whn this year book fair.. actually i din notice this book in d manual guide.. but i saw it when i wanted to pay at d counter... hmm.. is a very good book.. it see thru everything that i had been stubborn with.. it teach me a lot.. it help me a lot.. plz go look for this book if u want.. or borrow from me.. hahaha~ i only can say.. is an awesome book~ ^^

Raya Raya~ ^^

yahoo~ malay raya liao luu..
n is time for mi to enjoy beef n mutton~ yummy~

haha.. i guess most of d chinese din go to malay house to raya before.. n some of them might have some negative thoughts bout malays.. but.. not all d malays are bad okie??

now now~ i wanna share my raya experience.. first.. i went to my mum's best fren house.. dun suprise.. my mum gt lots of malays fren~ so with my dad~ hahahaaa~!! even myself also have a malay 'kai ma' ler~!!

uhm.. her name is auntie Habibah, my mum's fren la~ she is jz soo wonderful~ a great cook!! everything she cook is sooo nice n make me eat until non stop~ beef rendang.. chicken rendang.. ketupat with kuah kacang.. lemang.. nasi beriani... fuh~ dats a really wonderful raya meal~ hahaha.. n of coz.. i gained some weight too~ but i wil never regret dat~ hahaha~

2nd raya is went to dad's fren.. a very nice uncle.. he i do enjoy a mutton feast there.. curry mutton.. stew mutton with lemon mint sauce.. rendang mutton.. n hv beef soup too~ haha.. there got ppl do seafood bakar.. got big prawn ler.. but hor.. i din eat dao coz finish ady~ T__T but nvm~ i got ate d fish~ fuh~ it was sooo delicious when serve with two types of special thai sauce.. til now still cant forget d taste ler~

3rd raya is today~ to my uncle house~ ohya~ forgot to mention.. my uncle is a ustaz.. n he marry a malay lady.. so d whole family went to raya at his house.. his wife is jz busy in d kitchen n my mum n i went to help out ther.. after most of my aunties n uncles arrive.. then some of them help out too~ basically.. d food dat my uncle's wife cook is not dat tasty.. but not horrible as well~ haha~ at least still consumeable~

i end up d day with a story book n typing d blog here~ hahaha~ soo looking forward for another raya ler.. i wonder will there any house for me to visit in this year raya more...? hu cares bout gaining weight?? as long i have delicious food!!! wakakakakakakakaaaa~!!!

they are always in my mind....

since d day dat i officially move out from d old house n never back to d place again.. i kinda sad.. jz lik i had left piece of my memories there..

after some days.. n after some times.. i found dat i din left my memories there.. i always had it in my mind.. sumwhere deep in my heart.. dat i will never forget bout dat...

d new room of mine.. decorated with lots of anime poster.. i still can remember i always go to terminal one to find some nice poster to paste in my room.. every corner of d room.. jz full with anime.. ^^ of course.. i do paste some disney pictures n cartoons such as hamtaro n mashimaro.. hahaha!!

i still remember.. i was so lazy.. n always make my room messed up.. up till a certain limit.. i will tidy up my room n arrange all d furniture~ then.. mess up again n tidy n arrange again~ hahaaa xD dats really fun to do dat..

ohya~ i have my own bathroom in my room~ personal d oo~ ^^ bathroom is diff from my room.. i always keep it CLEAN~!! n i lik to lock up d room then switch on my favourite songs.. then enjoy my bath~ wakakakaaa~!! sometimes even play bubbles in my bathroom lei~ i noe dats sounds crazy.. but i DID dat once a while~ hahaha!!

i had everything in my mind.. kept up in a folder n save in my heart~ hahah~

wat happen to my room now...?

hmm.. no more anime poster in d room.. but im thinking to add one or two actaully~ n my room now look more matured than before.. at least look more lik a teenager room~ hahahah~

those hu interested to see my old room can go facebook to view my photo luu~ ^^

梦里

梦里听到你的低诉要为我遮风霜雨露
梦里听到你的呼唤要为我筑爱的宫墙

一句一句一声一声诉说着地老和天荒
一丝一丝一缕一缕诉说着地久和天长

梦里看到你的眼光闪耀着无尽的期望
梦里看到你的泪光凝聚着无尽的痴狂

一句一句一声一声诉说着地老和天荒
一丝一丝一缕一缕诉说着地久和天长

喔-天苍苍地茫茫你是我永恒的阳光
山无棱天地合你是我永久的天堂

喔-天苍苍地茫茫你是我永恒的阳光
山无棱天地合你是我永久的天堂

梦里看到你的眼光闪耀着无尽的期望
梦里看到你的泪光凝聚着无尽的痴狂

一句一句一声一声诉说着地老和天荒
一丝一丝一缕一缕诉说着地久和天长

喔-天苍苍地茫茫你是我永恒的阳光
山无棱天地合你是我永久的天堂

喔-天苍苍地茫茫你是我永恒的阳光
山无棱天地合你是我永久的天堂

喔-天苍苍地茫茫你是我永恒的阳光
山无棱天地合你是我永久的天堂

喔-天苍苍地茫茫你是我永恒的阳光
山无棱天地合你是我永久的天堂

相信自己的能力

有时候，自己做不到的事
而别人能做到。。
觉得自己很没用。。

为什么别人能而我不能呢？

我开始怀疑。。
我到底能不能？
我到底做到吗？

我开始在想。。
我可以做到多好？
我可以做到多少？

最后，
我的努力有如花苞。。
不知道会开出怎样的花？
会盛开吗？
会枯萎吗？

我不知道。。
我只从中学到
只要相信自己的能力就好。。
一切的源头
一切的能力
就从此开始~

Ablaze Event~

i took part in this event last mon n tue..
is kind fun~ n learn los of things too
haha
ohya.. another effect is..
i feel lik every1 is soo familiar after took part in d event..
lols..
dats really crazy~!!
n d glad thing is to get know some seniors..
they kinda nice.. but jz some la..
haha..
hu cares.. anyway.. thr some photo i took..


lao ba n sai ma took part in fast n furious.. basically.. it jz a eating contest..



here come d doggies~



act cute.. =.=



act cool.. but nt really... =.=''



photo with senior, aily~



1,2,3~



xue yi, bao bei n i~

stupid executive~!!!

i went to food fair on fri with bao bei, xue yi, hui qin and ah wang..
omg.. thrs lots of things there~!!
n yet.. everythings is soo dam awesome!!
i took a lots of pic there ler.. hahaa~!!

after dat.. baopo bei n hui qin hv to bac liao coz they bought the bus ticket on 6pm to bac hometown..

left me, xue yi and ah wang~

okok..

we went to d exhebition hall.. d place whr d competition ends n lots of display thr..
omg~ d ppls r really awesome~ they can do such nice thngs jz by using simple ingredients such as flour and sugar~

thn we saw d ppl r packing d things..

they hv to throw it away~!!! GOSH!!
so waste.. but have to do so..

and 3 of us saw a chef is looking at a orange flyting dragon that he made..
i guess he sure wondering have to throw anot..
coz that dragon rally nice n look real~
thn i asked n took d dragon from him..

i was sooo happy that time~ coz i tot of wanna show this to cloudy them n family~

thn.. thn.. thn..

bad things happened...

as i wanna leave the hall ady.. an executive stop me n ask me bout the dragon that i holding..
he said that i cant take this leave..
walauu aa.. soo sad~
my loong loong (dat orange dragon) cant follow me back..
i hv no choice but hand over loong loong...
sobb sobb sobbb~!!!
i wonder how he wil treat my loong loong... mayb.. he will keep it..
or destroy it...
hais.. dun wan say liao..
dat stupid ah wang still keep on toking bout it.. say how d executive break it..
issshhh~~!!
my tears really almost flow out ler...
wuu wuu wuuu~~~

anyway.. i really hv a nice day on that day~ even though i dunno how is my loong loong ady..
haha.. nvm~
i swear i wil make a nice 1 whn i learn how to make it..

hope u enjoy whn saw those pics ba~


d decoration at d upper floor


the white chocolate made by student


chocolate sculpture make by student.. look dam real ler!!


me n my loong loong~ the only photo taken....


my loong loong n d whole product.. look nice rite? get gold medal d ler...


this hoes is soo dam fergile n make by sugar..


d tallest wedding cake that found in the hall..d coffee.. look ady feel lik waste to drink it..

E X A M S ~ ! ! !

exam timetable out liao...
sobb.. T.T
6 subs in this sem ler..
n yet.. i dun think that i understand all the 6 subs..
too many to study..
too many to remember..
too many to read..

OH MY GOSH~!!!

okok..
no time to panic here..
start from now on..
study.. study.. study...!!
study wil vomit also hv o study..
study till wan die also hv to study..
everything~ study~!!

LUM KAR MAN!!
MAKE SURE U R WELL PREPARED BEFORE EXAM!!
AND PULL BACK YOUR CGPA!!
THIS IS YOUR FIRST EXAM IN YEAR 2!!
SHOW WHAT YOU HAVE!!
GIVE IT A BEST SHOT!!
U KNOW U CAN DO IT IF U WANT!!
G A M B A T E ! ! !

the past is flowing out...

these days.. when i saw u.. i jz keep on saw the past that we spent our time togather..
i know.. its short..
i know.. its complicated..
but i also know that is hard to forget..

that day in restaurant.. munz ask mi..
y u so close with the current class now but not with us last time?
i also wondering that.. this takes me a lot to think..
a question that bring back the memories..
thrs nth more thn dat..

i know.. is a past..
but i jz wonder why we cant smile to each other even we meet now?
i know that i can.. perhaps..
but do u can?
able to smile lik me lik nth happen before?
i guess dats kinda hard for u...

ohya.. bout the purpe crystal dat i stil wearing now..
its no more to remind me bout my painful,sorrow past..
now..
its my guardian crystal..
because it have lots of wishes and prayers from a best fren..
i wil never take it off perhaps..
until i know that i can stand up.. spiritually..

anyway.. hope u enjoy ur life in d new class thr.. ^^
gambate n hope we can graduate 2gather ba..

dunno..??

thrs nth in this world that have a fix answer..

okie
if i ask u..
if ur parents drop into sea.. n both of them dunno how to swim..
hu will u save?
father?
mother?

by the time u thinking hu to save..
they might had drowned..

there are moments that we dunno wat to say and wat to choose..
therefore..
we will answer dunno..
sometimes..
peoples will think that this is the most safe answer for certain questions..
but at the same time..
this also will be the most dangerous answer that ruins ur reputation..

some peoples think that answering dunno all the time is weaklings..
this is because they do not have their courage or fake to expres themselves..
some might answering dunno at first..
but..
in their mind.. they already have something set up..
then? wats d point of answering dunno??
for fun??
to listen other opinion??
wat if d person insist on their own thoughts..?
then d dunno that u had said earlier became a asshole bullshit........

Convo~

convocation @ tarc~
okok.. this is not d first time i go to a convo..
but..
is d first time i go to an online fren convo..
jz imagine..
an online fren dat knew from '05 (whn i was in form 3)..
till even im in d same col with him..
also haven meet him before..
but now..
i went to his convo to meet him..
haha..
dats d first meet between us..

okie.. let mi describe bout d situation of d day..
first.. i woke up n get prepared..
bath.. make up..
afta finished all..
i started to get nervous + scat
and a bit excited..
haha.. thn i decided to call up bao bei..
hmm.. afta talk to her n mummy..
thn i feel a bit better ady..

whn i reach college hall ther..
so ngam..
they jz came out from d hall..
thn i sent a msg to him..
'halo, u came out from hall ady?'
i waited for a a while.. but still no reply..
thn i suddenly thought of ah munz..
dunno she still in col anot..
if got thn can ask her to accompany me..
haha..
manatau...
whn i was on phone with her..
he called in..
LOL!!
i missed his call n hv to call back..
theres d brief conversation between us..
'halo, err.. err.. derek...?'
'halo,aloha happy(dats my webname,actually is alohappy), whr r u now?'
'i now at.. er.. right hand side whn u out from college hall there.....'
'ok, i go find u..'
'er.. okok!'
after few second i hung up d phone....
OMG~!!
i did a stupid thing..
how he wanna find a person in d crowd?
sumore he jz saw my pic b4 oni ler...
i wonder.. how he wanna find me... =.=
afta dat.. i msg him
'im wearing a yellow shirt and taking a pink color bag'
after a few min..
my hp rang n its him..
'whr r u o?'
'hmm.. i hard to tell la..'
thn i saw d poles for flag d..
'meet at d flags there ok?' i said
'i now at there ady..'
*huh? wat? ngm hai guar.. so ngam..*
'okok.. i go ther now..'
whn i at d flag area thr..
i looked around..
hm..
hmm.....
hmmm......
=.=''
sei foh...!!
i nt really rmb how he look lik...
thn i call up him..
'i at d flag ther ady wor.. whr r u? i cant see u d?'
'i also at flag thr liao oo...?'
*i looked around again n spotted a person..
seems lik him..*
'huh? did u wear ur hat?'
'huh??'
'hmm.. u wear wat color 2day? red? blue?'
'is red'
*thn another so ngam he turned around n saw me*
'i saw u'
'ya..me too..'

both of us smiled.. haha..
is kinda weird nia...
thn he called up his family..
thn i help to take photo for them..
thn walk walk here n ther..
afta a while..
i dcided to make a move..
coz have to dabao for ah maa n pack things back sban liao..
i tot i can meet up others d..
but jz him oni.. haha..
i think is better thn din meet b4 ba..
LOL!!

ohya.. d him dat i mention is derek..
his web name is chopin..
alohachopin.
haha..

anyway..
Grats derek aka chopin..
hope we can meet in future too..
uhm well..
now we still in d same col ma..
haha..
sure gt chance d.. =)

PAIN AR!!!!!

2dat.. jz now.. my cute lil' toe injured liao~

theres d story y i wil get injured..

1st.. my bro d cupboard new door gt sth wrong.. n he get mad at it ady n bang d door..
thn.. i go look look n try help to fix it lor..
afta dat.. i realise wat happen n prepare to fix it..
manatau...
bang!!
dat dam door slipped from my hand.. and..... and....
HIT MY TOE!!!!

at first.. i din feel anything.. thn.. slowly~ slowly~

d blood flow out btween d nail and d flesh.. (is d upper part)

WALAU AAAA~~~
MAMAMI AAAARRRRR~~~~

IS SO DAMMIT D PAIN~!!!!
KAOOOOOO!!!

i put dat door aside n jump to sit.. huiyo..
d blood flow out lik no need $$ lik dat.. =.=
thn thn my mum saw it n get angry adt..
she move d damm door outside n get medi for mi..

whn she went downstairs to get medi..
i jump bac to my room.. thn..
pain dao cry liao... T.T
is really dam pain..
jz lik sum1 use a hammer n ham on ur toe..
hoi seh~~
shuang dao~~~~

now my toe get bandaged ady..
ltr stil wan wear new shoe bac kl d ler...
sad~~ T.T
b4 wear new shoe d toe ady injured..
hak betul... iiissshhh~!!!

eye contact...??

i wonder since whn i realise..
whn i turn around n look at u..
i found dat..
ur looking at me in d same time as well..
thn..
i start to think..
how long u been looking at me?
why r u looking at me?
did i do sth wrong?
but..
d timing of eye contact is short..
jz a few sec..
n..
we turned away..
i wonder..
wats in ur mind dat time?
wat u think bout me?
wat u gonna do?
at last..
nth happen..
lik those r all my imagination..
i nt sure bout dat....

给自己的留言。。

dear karman..

please.. please do your responsibilities as a daughter, as a student, as a friend, and as yourself..

theres no one can be you.. dont u be afraid..

think.. think y u put ur blog url as onlykarman..

becoz.. dats only u in d world.. the only special characteristic..

dont be afraid.. theres a lot for u to learn..

the world is dat big.. the places that u wan to go still a lots..

not only in msia, nt only in asia, is d whole world..

dont be afraid.. u r not alone at all..

trust urself.. ur frenz is all around the world..

jz accept them with an open heart..

they r not dat bad as u xpceted..

dont be afraid.. your home always there..

no matter wat happens.. or u tired..

go back.. go back to the home that u always miss..

daddy is there.. mummy is there.. so with bro..

time wont change the family bond between u n them..

cheer up.. theres nth u cant solve..

think. analysis, feel, decide..

do wat u shd do..

not wat u wan to do..

think twice before decide..

plan well before u do anything..

dats is d karman,

daughter of daddy n mummy..

naughty sis of big bro..

abnormal person of the frenz..

gambate.. u can do it..

trust urself..

theres nth to afraid of..

缺钱~

omg.. i gonna broke ady..

isshhh~!!!

now have to save money..

save save save~

haiz.. wat to do.. budget RM100 for a fren bday..

dats too much for me..

really swt.. but nvm la..

coz is her 21st bday celebration..

dats wat we all can do for her..

dats d oni request from her anyway..

gambate.. best of luck to u~!!

aza aza fighting!!

懒惰了~

不知道为什么。。最近还蛮懒惰的。。
没什么精神。。做什么事都提不起劲。。
特别是读书！！
啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！
救命啊！！！

不知道自己是否在逃避些什么。。
也不想知道。。
我想，
很多事情，不要去解开比较好。。
不过，
不去解开，不代表事情不存在。。

i guess.. dats d main problem of mine..
i dunno how to say out..
im afraid dat..
if i say dat out.. there will be more problems..
it is better thn i keep it.. burried in the mind..
dats all.. i guess...??

生日。。？？

为了美云的生日，计划了还蛮久的。。

可是，想不到。。

原来我在计划别人同事。。

我也正在被计划。。可怜哦~

不过，我还是很感动。。

他们为我做的每件事。。

他们的每个笑容。。

我都一一记得~

太爱你们了！！

你们真得很可爱！！

当然不只美云他们啦！

还有我这班死党~

真的服了你们哦！！

到底是想的鬼点子？？

不过真的谢谢你们！！

当然，还有你。。

谢谢你特地来哦！

说真的，我有点吓到！！

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！！

只不过我掩饰得很好罢了~

嗯~当然还要谢谢每位祝福我的啦！！

还有些意想不到的惊喜。。

小女子再此谢啦~！

^^v

=KaRMaN=

grabbing a hold of myself..

y this will happen?
hu noes? hu can answer me?

evrytime whn assignments starts..
i wil get a hold of myself..
im not a natural leader..
i hv lots to learn..
hoping dat evry1 will fine wit d decision..
hoping dat i can come out with sth dat making ppl satisfied..
somehow..
i jz on d mode of trying my best..
not very best..
i noe i can do more well..
i noe dat lots of frenz r around me..
they r suppporting me..
they r caring me..
thay r helping me..
im very touched..
really touched..

to hu it may concern..
(baobei, nemo, mo, jason, cloudy, ah maa, sharon, zi wei, jimmy,xin loong n others)
thx to ur words..
it is a strenght for me..
a light in d darkness..
a guide whn im lost..
a warmth whn i was disappointed..
those words may b common..
but makes me have d braveness to stand up again..
makes me dare to make another step..
thx a lot..
really thx...
^^
i promise..
i will not gv up no matter wat..
i willl try my very best everytime..
trust me..
karman is still standing..
smiling..
n waiting u all to gv me a big hug!! ^o^

Haru Haru by BIGBANG

离开吧

Ye the finally I realize that Im nothing without you

I was so wrong forgive me

ah ah ah ah-

我浪花般粉碎的心 我风一般动摇的心

我轻烟般消失的爱情 像纹身般无法抹去

长叹一口气 我的心里布满的只有灰尘

以为没有你会一天都活不下去的我

没想到一个人还勉强过得下去

即使呼喊着想见你 你也毫无回应

即使怀着没有一丝希望的期待 现在也已无济于事

你身边的那个人是谁 会不会让你哭泣

不知你眼里还能否容下我 是否早已忘得一干二净

担心得不敢靠近 不敢说话 心焦如焚

独自一人熬夜 无数次抹去你的记忆

离开时请不要回头 以后活着也不要再找我

因为爱你 没有一丝悔意 所以请只带着美好的回忆离去

勉强可以忍受 勉强可以撑下去

我越是这样 你越要活的幸福 一天天渐渐失去感觉

oh girl i cry cry yo my all say goodbye..

即使走在路上 你我偶然相遇

也请装作没看到 继续走你的路

如果总有过去的记忆浮现

也许我又会不知不觉去找寻你

你要一直跟他幸福 不能让我产生一丝期待

不能让我有一丝留恋 要好好过下去 好好过给我看

你要一直像那天空 像那飘着的白云

要一直保持那张笑脸 装作若无其事的样子

离开时请不要回头 以后活着也不要再找我
因为爱你 没有一丝悔意 所以请只带着美好的回忆离去
勉强可以忍受 勉强可以撑下去
我越是这样 你越要活的幸福 一天天渐渐失去感觉

希望离我而去后 你的心能得到平静 请忘记我活下去

随着一天天的流逝 那些眼泪总有一天会消失

如果没有相见 也许伤痛会少些

要永远在一起的那个约定 希望你能埋没在回忆中

为你而祈祷

离开时请不要回头 以后活着也不要再找我

因为爱你 没有一丝悔意 所以请只带着美好的回忆离去

勉强可以忍受 勉强可以撑下去

我越是这样 你越要活的幸福 一天天渐渐失去感觉

oh girl I cry cry

yo my all say goodbye bye

oh my love dont lie lie

yo my heart say good bye

微妙的人情味

今早从芙蓉回来，一路上还蛮平安的。一直到了pasar seni。。
哇靠！那么多人在等LRT.. =.=
没办法咯！只好排队等了。。
习惯性的走到平时等候的地方。。咦？帅哥哦！哈哈！！
其实他的样子还不错，加上西装，看起来蛮帅的！
我若无其事的排在他后面，暗地里打量着他，是个刚出社会的上班族吧！

不久，LRT来了！万。。。。岁。。。。？？！！
哇靠！！活生生的沙丁罐！！活生生个沙丁鱼！！
呜呜~要怎样挤啊！！
还好不久之后又有一辆了。。（开心）
那帅哥刚才没上到那一辆，现在可以上了吧。。

哪知。。里面的人挤啊挤的~终于让出一个小小的空位来给我进。。
可是。。自己知道自己的身形有几大，我犹豫了。。
另一个印度婆看了，马上挤进去那空位了。。
那帅哥用很疑惑的眼神看着我，仿佛问我为什么不要进。。

再见了帅哥~我看着他，给了车内的人一个友善的笑容。。再静静的等候另一辆LRT..
这次，我进到去了！！万岁！！不过。。还真的很挤哦！！
我的妈！！有另一个男的挤在我对面。。那是面对面了。。
天~~这是什么跟什么嘛！！
直到。。到了某一站，真得太挤了。。我背向他的站着。。
那该死的LRT存心跟我作对！！
要拿着laptop，又要扶着以免跌倒。。真的好难啊！！
不只是有心还是无意，我感觉到后面的男的好像在借我靠他的胸膛，让我更有平衡力。。
呃~应该是错觉吧！不过我在他下车时，小小声地跟他道谢了。。哈哈！！

所以说，吉隆坡部没有想象中那么差。。在某些时候，还是有微妙的人情味存在的。。

blur n confused..

hu noes..
hu cares..
hu say..
hu decide..
hu pray..
hu believe..
hu betray..
hu leaves..
hu silence..

hu can tell me.. wats dis all about?? thousands of matters dat i wondering.. theres no fix answer for dat.. jz lik bac to d grey grey places.. where every1 keeing their own secret.. telling half half making ppl crazy.. letting ppl wondering at d pointless end.. is this all about? being questioned n self questioning.. making d mind go mad.. cant find a fix answer.. cant find a fix definition.. good? wats ur definition for good? bad? wats ur definition for bad? why... cant make this more simple...?? or jz im making it complicated...??

lonely night..

i think this is d first time.. i being alone in d house in this sem.. after soo long din being alone since year 1 starts...

dats terrible.. dats all i can say.. dat reminds me bout anything.. n everything..

from d day i step in to d house to start my staying outside life.. away from those familiar surroundings... i know dat my life gonna change.. as ppls do always say.. dats d turning point of d life.. dat double storey terrece house.. is one of my turning point... n a new start to be independent...

another is.. d whole year 1 dat i pass thru.. dats really fast for me.. evrything jz lik happen yday.. n i still have those fresh memories in my mind.. everything.. all i can say is.. phew.. time really wait for nobody.. haha..

uhm.. i guess.. i kinda clear out my mind.. mayb affected by 1 song.. "haru haru" by big bang.. is a korean song.. hmm.. dats my fav song.. n make me realise some theory dat i always left out.. i guess dats a good thing for me..

being loney is not dat bad actually.. is jz lik a part of my relaxing life.. doin sth dat i want.. letting me to be myself for few hours.. even dat sounds really terrible coz being alone.. heh.. is not dat bad.. is not dat terrible.. ^^

walau AAA!!!!

aiyoyo.. i wanna fight with d dust ady.. arrrggghhh!!!!

THEY R KILLING ME!!!

KAO KAO KAAOOOOOOO!!!!

this sat lorry will come to move those big item to new house.. then.. left all those small item to pack.. wat d ****!!! !@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@! dat all i can say... iiissshhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

btw.. im kinda glad.. first.. thx to bro.. haha.. he installed RRO in his comp.. thn i play that game too.. haha.. nice.. i get to know many ppl from all over the world.. haha.. but.. all is guys.. =.= even is a female character.. but is still a guy who playing dat... FAINT!!!

hmm.. lets see.. i get to noe 1 from usa(Byakko11798), okie.. dats d first fren i noe in there.. thn another is from india(DEATHKNIGHT).. he really cool and awesome.. n teach mi a lots of things too!! ^^ thn another 1 is msian(mfeowan).. but is a malay.. he is kinda cool n helpful~!! haha!! thn another 1 is more near d country(lucki).. from singapore.. haha.. recently i use to on9 n train with him and the fren from india.. gosh.. we do make up a great team.. haha.. coz they r soo cool!! so awesome!! soo nice!! so cute!! haha.. hope they wun mind i say dat.. lols..

ohya.. bout d guy hu using girl char.. =.= gosh.. st first.. i really glad dat i hv a first girl fren in dat game(Rrina).. manatau.. =.= deathknight tell mi.. she is a guy.. i straight lik.. wat d.... then.. is OMG!!!! hahahaaaa~

thn 1 day he say dat he is bored.. thn my little devil horn is out.. haha.. i ask him to marry in that game.. then will have more fun.. thn he replied mi dat wanna marry with me.. haha.. i straight answer him dat.. is lesbian marridge is legal in d game?? as his char is a girl.. haha.. he straight swt n speechless.. wakakkaaaaa!! deathknight also swt lik hell whn heard dat.. haha..

gosh.. i really enjoy to play dat game.. haha.. but.. i hv a bit guilty.. coz i will disappear from that game anytime.. jz depends on when my bro goin to delete that game.. hope that they will be fine n accept my disappearence later.. hahaaa.. but i will miss them.. they gave mi a wonderful time in a busy holiday.. ^^ love u guys a lot.. hahaaaaa.. dun worry.. jz a frenship love~ muaxx~~ haha!!

once again...

hais.. everytime.. i hv lots of thoughts that playing in my mind.. but.. but.. evrytime.. whn i wan to post it out here.. or even xpress dat.. i face a difficult problem.. my mind blanks.. n.. i dunno how to start it.. it jz lik a continous drama.. n i dunno how to start it.. or even finish it.. i dunno how to type out here.. i dunno hu to tell to.. i dunno how shd i tell.. i dunno how shd i make ppl understand wat im thinking.. i really dunno.. ok.. dats end up wit.. i keep those words in my mind n heart.. smile n laugh facing every1.. jz lik nth happen b4.. even.. i know that the problem do exist until it is solve.. so.. i guess i will less come here to post liao ba.. theres too many things that cant use word to describe....

unspoken words..

thr are many things dat i wanna post here.. bout my 1 week d feelings.. but i hardly post it here.. coz even myself also messed up.. n this make mi found out sth interesting.. i can write it out n burn it.. lik this.. thr will be no ppl noe.. ^^ mayb sum1 will say.. if lik this.. thrs no diff btween write n no write.. okok.. kinda no diff also d.. hehe.. but it jz can help to make my heart feel more better.. but.. jz a bit ler.. hais..

ohya.. another reason i put this title.. is coz i had sore throat liao.. really unspoken words ma... very pain whn talk ler.. so.. any1 hu saw this post.. plz dun call mi.. msg mi thn can liao.. my throat cant be torture dat much... pain pain pain....!!!! T_______T

thinking....

i had all my feelings messed up in my mind.. jz for this few days.. many things had happened.. i had d joy moments.. i had the sad moments.. for the joy moments.. baobei.. she had her hapiness ady.. n im glad n happy for her.. ^.^ gambatte for ur future.. i know u can do it d.. dun worry too much.. ^^
sad is.. munz cant join for d genting trip.. i cant say anything but sorry.. n i will bring u souvenier frm seremban.. sorry ar coz not genting d..

i wonder wats my mind thinking.. mom n dad hv quarrel.. standing in d middle really feels bad.. thinks whole week.. i hv all my feelings messed.. n.. i stil cant forgive myself.. for some reason.. i cant pass my own emotianal decision.. even u all say dats wat i shd do.. i feel lik wanna cry.. but i cant cry out.. not oni in front of u all.. even im alone.. i still cant cry out.. mayb dats wat they call the tears had dried out.. or ady numb of dat..

im jz a coward......

okie.. bsides.. thx for all of u hu went to genting trip.. i do enjoy d trip.. n eddie.. sorry ar.. shout at u whn morning dat time.. really sorry.. >.< jz dat time d emotianal control nt dat gud... hehe.. to 283 n dexter.. nice to meet u all oo.. haha.. hope dat u all got enjoy d trip.. ^^

玩失踪...

在每一次的假期,我都会玩失踪..
不知被说被骂了多少次...
我还是照样失踪... 哈哈!!
我想了很多次,为什么我要玩失踪??
每一次,我都得不到答案..

这一次,我知道了..
这一次,我想通了..
这一次,我明白了..

原来,我只想把每一分每一秒都花在家里..
原来,我只想补回我之前不在家的缺陷..
原来,我只想让朋友之间多一些空间..
原来我自己很懒惰的~ (这是百分百事实哟!!)

昨天晚上,帮妈妈按摩的时候..
妈妈说:"有女儿在家真好...你都不知道几久没帮妈妈按摩了..."
我听了..不好受..
如果..我每一天在家帮妈妈..
她可以轻松很多的..
她可以不用那么累的..
晚上..我哭了.. 恨自己的不肖..
原来我自己是很无能为力的...

Finish Exam...

exams... exams.. exams...

FINISH LIAO LUUUUU~~!!!!!

WAKAKAKAKAKKAAAAA~~~~

ok la.. actually i dun hv any feel bout dat d.. finish mah finish loo... no big deal also..

finish exam liao.. so wat...?? go movie?? go shopping?? or..go back sleep...?? lols...
i end up with go bac pack things n bac to seremban..
movie..?? no thanks..
shopping..?? paiseh.. bo lui..
sleep..?? too energetic to slp liao laaa..

faint down.. haisss... go bac drink mama cook d soup~ almost 2 weeks didnt drink liao lerrr... so miss d soup.. n all mama cook d dishes.. huiyo.. saliva come out liao... slurrrpp~

3 may coming back to kl.. thn mayb 5th will go genting.. hmm.. i think dat trip will be fun ba... haha..

I WANNA PLAY EVERYTHING THERE!!!! E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G!!!!!! ROARRRRR!!!

bsides.. namo namo.. hope my fo dun nid to resit ba.. coz i really did badly this time... really bad.. hm.. dun care liao laa.. ady pass up lor.. let d teacther dcide my destiny ba.. resit or not... dun care la... sighh!!

Getting attracted...

look into your eyes.. i found that thers no secret that i can hide from u..
u like to fool around.. can accept my crazy ideas.. u r so funny!! n so CUTE!!!
i like u sooo much ooo!!! muacks muacks muacks~!!! hehee~~

(dun think too much bout dat.. all i toking is bout my tbr family d HAMSTERS!!! wakakakakaaa!!!)

tired day

2day i wake up kinda early.. bout 9am sth thn wake liao.. as usual.. i go find bside room d housemate.. n tot wanna play wit d hamster.. manatau.... d cage door is OPEN!!! walao aaa.. i straight woke up liao.. thn i ask my housemate.. both of them shocked.. thn.. a war finding d hamster begin.. not 1 o.. is 2 ooo... 2 hamstersss!!!! finally~!!! found it under d cupboard.. thn.. catch it come out loo.. thn.. another war catching d 2 cute little hamster... BEGIN!!! guess wat.. spent 2 hrs to clear all those problems... thn.. wait cloudy back n go jusco.. coz i wanna but facial cleanser.. n shun bian buy things to cook.. hehe.. n but housemate d present.. lalalalalaa~ thn whn go back.. another things happen.. d hamster that qi li bought dead.. she bought 1 pair la.. jz 1 dead... walauu aaa.....n im d 1 hu found out.. gosh.. so suey... wat bad things i also found out first.. thn i tell sharon.. sharon come to look look.. thn.. qi li found out.. thn.. she cried.. hais.. i rush to tell cloudy bout dat.. she straight jump up frm her bed.. n bilibala bilibala... thn.. d hamster cant be saved... okie.. its dead whn i found out.. d little body has harden.. n cold cold d... hais.. another little life gone.. thn.. ltr will b another storm.. dis is bout sharon d la.. coz her sis admited wad.. n her bf nt really wan to tell her coz scat wil affect her study for exam.. but cloudy suggest him to tell her.. if not.. more troublesom.. so.. he is goin to tell her later.. hais... dunno how la... shun qi zi ran la... better go study for my exam liao.. 2 days liao but dunno wat i study at all.. sigh... i better work hard on that.. if not.. dai wok lol~

小小的惊吓

在吃完了早午餐后,老爸跟老哥去理发..
然后呢~
老哥叫我驾他的车去接他们
一路上都很顺利..
直到......
要park车时...
我差点把老哥的爱车刮上充满艺术性的痕迹
要不是他及时拉刹车
那~
老爸老妈..
你们可以准备一笔钱来修车了..
哈哈哈哈!!!
可怜的老哥要收拾我的烂摊子
还要吓到脸青青..
而我~
当然在那里笑翻了啊!!
都跟他说了我的PARKING是FAIL的嘛~
呵呵!!

小小的人生观

冷眼看人生
冷眼看世界
到头来..
原来这些是一场毫无结局的闹剧

见识了所谓的生活百态
生老病死..悲欢离合..
发现原来自己也在其中
默默地跟着命运的安排

每个人都拥有自己的故事
是我太自私
忽略了别人的感受
是我太自我
以为只有我有那么的一个人生
其实
是我自己太可笑了..也太可悲了..

原来我什么都不是...

每个人都有自己的故事,属于自己的回忆..
在什么时候,我渐渐了解..
原来我什么都不是,不过..
我拥有一切!!
不管是曾经还是现在..

给我最亲爱的屋友们,
认识到你们是我最大的幸运..在我的人生中增加了许多乐趣..曾经一起经过的欢笑,悲伤..都成了我最甜蜜的回忆..不管未来如何坎坷,我都诚心希望你们都会过得快快乐乐,也记得曾经有一个我在你们的人生路过..

给我的朋友们,
认识你们都快要一年了..也混了一年..哈哈!!你们每个人都教了我很多东西,也让我明白了很多事情..我衷心地谢谢你们..笨蛋的事做了不多,疯狂的事也做了不少..一切都会成为过去,但我会铭记于心..因为那是属于我们的回忆!!

给某某人,
我很感激你,因为你让我见识了残酷的现实..也让我懂事了..原来世界是很大的..没必要约束自己在别人的身边..原来我可以做很多的事情,不一定要拥有爱情才可以拥有一切..单身的生活是充满乐趣的!!

给蓝某人,
我明白你是关心我..不过,我比较喜欢自由的感觉..偶尔的问候是很窝心..一直不停的问句,会让我觉得什么事都要报告..让我不知要以什么的态度面对你..朋友?情人? 不..那根本象个属下向上司报告所发生的事情..太可笑了..

给雷某人,
有时候,我真的很怀疑..你和某人是否成为情侣了..一连串的事情把我给弄糊涂了..就说最近的一次吧!如果你是他的女友,那是他的错对你乱发脾气..而你,应该要容忍他吧..如果你不是他的女友,你何必为了他而哭了一天呢?就因为他答应了某些事而没做到?我想你自己明白就好..每个人都看在眼里,心里有数..你是真的很在乎他的..

Pieces of my memories...

dunno y.. i suddenly thought of this.. wanna write down every thing that i can remember since i was born.. i scat dat 1 day i will lost all of my memories.. even facing the dearest ppl infront of me.. but i dunno hu is them.. so.. i dcided to write it down here..

mama told mi.. my nose was lik a pig nose whn i was born.. so.. grandma always pull my nose to make it better.. haha.. thn.. my skin was very yellow.. even tan under d sun but still yellow.. so, she use beer to bath for mi.. thn.. my skin had become better.. n i think dat indirectly makes mi lik alcohol.. =.=

i looked back to my photo.. i was very fat whn born.. hm.. i think can say chubby also.. haha.. my cousins lik to pinch my chubby face.. but i very brave oo.. didnt cry at all whn they pinch me.. ^^

i think whn i m 5 or 6 yrs old.. my mum held a party for my.. all my relatives came.. my youngest aunty gv mi a big rabbit soft toy.. i still have it with me now ler.. thn.. i rmb my dad been bring d whole family to go other states to have vacation.. hmm.. d most i rmb d is dad forget to book hotel whn go to alor setar.. dat end up we find hotel that available around d area..

tok bout my kindergarden.. d 1st kindergarden..i cant rmb dat much.. coz too young dat time.. i jz rmb is an english kindergarden.. mayb is my communication problem.. so my mum change me to a chinese kindergarden whn i was 5 yrs old.. hmm.. d 2nd kindergarden many homework to do d.. everytime i came back from there.. sure have bunch of homework.. afta dat.. whn i was 6.. i went to another kindergarden.. i oni rmb i dance n compete in story telling in that year.. lets see.. d title of my story is the racing of rabbit n tortise.. haha.. dat time mama lik to bring me to her office n ask mi to tell d story to her fren.. the aunties very frenly n nice.. they let mi stand on d table n tell the story.. afta dat.. i can get treats.. hehe... dats y i so fat now lorr...

afta dat.. is my primary schl.. i went in to a neighbourhood primary schl.. lots of my childhood fren was there too.. but most of us not in the same class.. hm.. in pri 1.. i sit beside d clas monitor.. n she same lik my cousins.. lik to pinch me d.. thn in pri 2.. i getting lazy n had caught d teacher attention to see my parents.. papa n mama whcak mi in a closed room whn at home.. coz if in grandma house.. grandma sure wun let them do it d.. ohya.. 4gt to say.. mama didnt cook in house d.. so mostly we wil have dinner at grandma house thn oni go back home.. whn pri 3.. i still lazy as usual.. but whn near PTS.. i managed to score well n get offer to jump grade... but i wonder how i did dat. faint down.. i didnt accept d offer.. thn i cont to pri 4.. d most i rmb is i push my fren hu is a guy to a gal toilet.. thn... he scream n yelled at me.. i cired n thn we bcum best fren afta dat.. haha.. thn pri 5.. i rmb clearly.. august.. my dad get transfered to seremban.. i still can accept n digest d news.. thn.. i went to a kinda famous pri schl there.. d first day i went ther.. is whn they start their exam.. n so ngam is first day of exam nia.. so.. i took d exam n my result is not bad.. hm.. i dun hv many frenz there.. once.. d gal hu sit bside me blame me dat i had stole her nip pencil.. she ask d guyz in d clas to throw basketball at me during rest time.. thn.. i went to call my mum n inform the teacher.. n d headmaster also came to d clas.. in d end.. she had no proves coz d other student in d clas saw she put her nip pencil under my desk.. frm dat time.. my heart to get noe of new fren has dead.. i always use a barrier to keep myself away from ppls.. this situation keep on till i finish my pri6..

my UPSR results is not bad n managed to get into same sec schl wit my bro.. thn.. i stil keep my barrier on n jz kip on alone in the schl.. thrs oni 5% of chinese in d schl.. in my sec1.. theres 6 chinese in my clas.. but i didnt mix with them.. so.. they think i very satay(chuan).. n.. haha.. they throw my bag, step on it n pour water.. i didnt know they did that.. jz though dat mayb sum1 accidently kicked d chair n make d bag fall.. but afta dat.. whn i familiar with them.. they admit dat they did it.. nah.. those ady pass la.. mention it now also no use la.. ohya.. i managed to get know form 5 senior.. whn they practiceing for some function in the hall.. dats make mi joining the PBSM n PBC.. frm form 1 till 3.. mi n d gang kip on do performance for schl.. i rmb once is dance in front of yam tuan whn form 1.. thn.. f4 i stil got dance for few times.. afta dat i change to help in those managing work liao.. haha.. n i rmb.. we grouped d first basketball girl schl team.. thn ah gan get beaten up in d library.. thn i go to see d headmaster.. n many crazy moments that we spent togather.. ah yan, ah yee, lai, li jiun, ongkar, salina, christine, xin yue, sue, puay, jesilyn, huimei, hanwei, ahgong, ah gan, yao ming, ah thong, ah limp. n many many more.. even we r apart.. but i will treasure d memories that i had..

afta dat.. taadaaa... is my college life liao.. haha.. 1st is my housemate.. i got ah maa, ah paa there d oo.. n have complicated relationship also.. hard to xplain all nia.. let mi list out 1 by 1 la.. cloudy, my roomate.. ah maa, qi li n xiao fen, beside room d.. mr ah wei, qi li d bf.. ah paa, their ex hsmate.. yvonne, cloudy d ex roomate.. mr zi wei, yvonne d ex bf.. in a simple way.. i will call thm as housemate gang.. hahaa... within 1 year.. we had gone thru many things.. n dat makes me more understand them now.. i think la.. hahhahaaa.. but this big family gonna seperate soon.. coz yvonne goin to inti to cont her stdy.. thn ah paa goin bac hometown.. thn ah maa goin to graduate liao....hmm.. nvm la.. i will treasure every moment whn with them thn can liao luu.. ^.^

sumore.. my maple story d fren.. can consider as on9 fren.. ah du, ido, chopin, kong, killer, fei long, christy, sh, botak, ash jie, alo, ling mei, ant, shifu, n al n all.. hahah... now i jz got kip in touch with du, shifu and ant.. others didnt really contact with them ler..

thn is my clasmate liao.. hohoho.. my lame lame d clas rep, xiao hui.. she so dam geng ler.. n so dam lame also d.. thn is munz, d combination of lame n crazy d... haha... dun scold mi arr.. dats d truth ler... thn is bao bei.. another lame d ppl.. can say funny aslo d.. hahha.. thn is eddie.. RM 80 n silky girl.. hmm.. rainbow.. a person hu will sot sot sumtimes.. namo, my lao ba.. ah mo, my lao ma, jason, my xiao ma.. haha.. thn is da jie, a very nice n funny person also.. n peggie aka pinky.. hehe.. thn is joy joy.. a combination of cool n cute person.. fangyi aka my darling.. joyse, my er jie.. gui gui, a modern fela.. ah fun.. very tiny d person.. janice, leng lui lai d ler.. lynn, a cool girl lai d.. yinmei, ppl call her virus.. but i dun think so ba.. luan luan, another funny 1.. maggie, funny n lame d.. ah mu, future frezer of d world.. nicky, dunno hu d lovely.. xue yi, another leng lui.. kok yaw, under d senior gang.. n d senoir gang include leng, kent, jia keng n vincent, a person dat make mi realise of sth.. most of d time i will hang with munz, bao bei, n eddie.. hahah..

of coz i gt noe sum other frenz bsides col d frenz n hsmate la.. 1st is my roomate d fren.. there 5 ppl in d gang including my roomate.. haha.. pei wen, hui ting, lion n yun fei.. i rmb u all d name d ooo... thn is bao bei d hsmate liao.. daddy, mummy aka dennis, kai teng, n yi xin.. dun be too suprise.. bao bei d daddy is a leng lui n daddy is a leng zai.. hahaha~!! thn is kent.. on9 fren till real life d fren.. haha..

i guess dats d brief bout my memories ba.. haha.. i shd go slp liao loo.. 6am nid wake up n bac kl ady.. nitex evry1..

Gonna C R A Z Y ! ! !

oh my oh my.. i m goin to crazy liao....... wraggghhhh!!!!!!! c'mon la LUM KAR MAN!!!! u r such an idiot!!! u noe how to tok ppl but dunno how to tok bac urself...?? dam u.. damm uuuuu!!! stop acting lik a stupid ppl.. STOP IT!!!

down.....to d bottom

human.. kinda pity..
jz now i went out 4 dinner with mum.. n d weather.. gone bad suddenly.. jz lik.. suddenly have a heavy rain.. my car pass by the pasar malam near d hawker stall thr.. n i saw.. the ppl busy packing their stuff n ready to call it a day.. i feel so sorry for them.. they jz wanna earn a living.. but still have to depends on the weather.. if the weather gone bad.. then they cant earn their living.. jz lik wat i saw jz now.. suddenly feel so down bout dat..

dat incident reminds mi bout my parents.. or can say all the working ppl in this world.. they all work so hard to earn their living.. but still.. sure have some incident that make them feel bad.. i cant find a word to describe dat.. jz lik a hard work that hardly pay off.. this also remind bout myself.. how lucky im.. n how horrible im..

staying outside.. 1st.. is the room rental.. evrytime i tell my mum bout d rental.. she gave me some extra pocket money also.. and i didnt think of.. where is the money come from... n my monthly expenses.. my daily item spending.. my school fees.. is all about money.. this is all d money that my parents work hard to get it.. besides.. my mum also work as part time chef to teach ppl cooking.. even this is 1 of her intrest.. but i know.. she do get tired sometimes.. dats y i will come bac on weekends.. coz most of her class is on weekends.. at least.. i can help her to take her things.. help in registration.. tidy up her things n help her to collect money..this is wat i can do to help her in my way.. but... i think dats not enough........ really not enough....

乐观的价值

　　英特尔公司的总裁安迪•葛鲁夫曾是美国《时代》周刊的风云人物。在上个世纪70年代，他创造了半导体产业的神话，很多人只知道他是美国巨富，却不知道，他的人生也有鲜为人知的苦难经历。
　 　由于家境贫寒，安迪•葛鲁夫从小便吃尽了缺衣少食和受人藐视的苦头，他发誓要出人头地，他比同龄人显得成熟而老练。在上学期间便表现出了他的商业天才， 他会在市场上买来各种半导体零件，经过组装后低价卖给同学，他只从中赚取手续费。由于他组装的半导体比原装的便宜很多，而质量却不相上下，所以在学校里很 走俏。他的学习成绩也异常优秀，他的好学与经商的聪明才智，得到了老师的表扬。可是谁也想不到，他竟是个极度悲观的人，也许是受贫困的家境影响，凡事他都 爱走极端，这在他以后的经商之路上淋漓尽致地表现了出来。
　　那是安迪•葛鲁夫第三次破产后的一个黄昏，他一个人漫步在家乡的河边，他从早早 去世的父母，想到了自己辛苦创下的基业一次次的破产，内心充满了阴云。悲痛不已的他在号啕大哭一番后，正望着滔滔的河水发呆，他想如果他就这样跳下去的 话，很快就会得到解脱，世间的一切烦愁都与他无关了。突然，对岸走来一位憨头憨脑的青年，他背着一个鱼篓，哼着歌从桥上走了过来，他就是拉里•穆尔。安迪 •葛鲁夫被拉里•穆尔的情绪感染，便问他：“先生，你今天捕了很多鱼吗？”拉里•穆尔回答：“没有啊，我今天一条鱼都没捕到。”拉里•穆尔边说边将鱼篓放 了下来，果然空空如也。安迪•葛鲁夫不解地问：“你既然一无所获，那为什么还这么高兴呢？”拉里•穆尔乐呵呵地说：“我捕鱼不全是为了赚钱，而是为了享受 捕鱼的过程，你难道没有觉得被晚霞渲染过的河水比平时更加美丽吗？”一句话让安迪•葛鲁夫豁然开朗，于是，这个对生意一窍不通的渔夫拉里•穆尔，在安迪• 葛鲁夫的再三央求下，成了英特尔公司总裁安迪•葛鲁夫的贴身助理。
　　很快，英特尔公司奇迹般地再次崛起，安迪•葛鲁夫也成了美国巨富。在创业的数年间，公司的股东和技术精英不止一次地向总裁安迪•葛鲁夫提出质疑，那个没有半点半导体知识、毫无经商才能的拉里•穆尔，真的值得如此重用吗？
　　每当听到这样的问题，安迪•葛鲁夫总是冷静地说：“是的，他确实什么都不懂，而我也不缺少智慧和经商的才能，更不缺少技术，我缺少的只是他面对苦难的豁达心胸和面对人生的乐观态度，而他的这种豁达心胸和乐观态度，总能让我受到感染而不至于做出错误的决策。”

你的成功你决定

　　早晨我驾车上班时，通常会遇到3个卖报的年轻人。他们每一个人都有一套属于自己的卖报策略。但其中一人总能最先卖完报纸。事实上，另外两人所处的位置比他优越很多。等我日复一日地从卖报人身边经过时，我逐渐意识到，那个人的成功与他选择的位置毫无关系。
　 　第一个卖报人，总是站在丁字路口，他永远是一副愁眉苦脸的样子。当乘车人招手索要报纸时，他缓慢地走过去，当顾客刚看清他那招牌式的苦瓜脸时，他已经生 硬地将报纸塞进了车窗。如果赶上雨天，则很难觅到他的踪影。一般情况下，雨天买不到他的报纸。我并不怪罪他，但当我迫切想买某一张报纸，而又无法看到时， 我就难以忍受他这样的工作态度了。所以，后来我再也不从他那里买报纸了。
　　第二个卖报人，站在十字路口，红绿灯带给他不少便利。一旦乘车的 人被红灯所阻，他就前前后后地在停下的车队旁奔跑着，大声叫喊着他所卖报纸的名字。我有几次试图从他那里买一份报纸，但都未能如愿，因为他总是忙于奔跑， 很难锁定他的位置。我招手、喊叫，但他似乎从来就没有注意到我。
　　第三个卖报人，则总是固定地站在繁华街道的中央。双腿略微分开，以保持他 的站姿。他的手中拿着几份报纸放在胸前，以使司机和乘客从他身边经过的时候，能够瞥一眼大字标题。他从来不随着车辆走动，他总是等着他的顾客驶向他的身 边。他用使人愉快的“早上好”问候每一个从他身边过去的人，当有人慢下来打算购买报纸时，他的脸上绽放出灿烂的笑容。他友好的态度给我留下了深刻印象。当 我驾车离开时，他在后面大声说道：“谢谢你！祝你有快乐的一天！明天见！”他总是设法在卖出报纸的几秒钟内，把这些话语说得清清楚楚，又悦耳动听。
　　没错，第三个卖报人是我最喜欢的。想必你会说，这也没什么大不了，不就是卖出一张报纸吗？但是我们完全可以从3个卖报人身上体会到很多东西：
　　你的工作可能并非你理想的工作，但你完全可以凭借你今天所做的一切使自己感到充实和快乐。
　　即使是几秒钟的短暂时间也同样能给他人留下深刻的印象，所以不要因为时间太短暂，就忽略自己的言行。
　　你所做的美好行为不可能都有美好的回报，但糟糕的行为一定会导致糟糕的返还。
　　一颗懂得感恩的心，一个甜美的笑容，一句简短的问候，尽管都是最细微不过的表现，但日久天长，它们所带给你的回报会远远超出你的想象。
　　战胜竞争对手最好的方法，就是提供更好的服务。
　 　这天早上，又下雨了。第一个卖报人不知道躲到哪里去了。第二个卖报者，拿着温漉漉的报纸继续在车流中来回奔跑。第三个卖报人，依旧站在他的位置上，身穿 一件鲜亮的黄色雨衣，胸前的报纸被严严实实地遮挡在透明的塑料布下面，报纸一点没湿，人们仍然能看到醒目的大字标题，更能清晰地看到他脸上洋溢着的灿烂的 笑容。

静下来

　　记得大学期间，有一同学给我写信总在结束时写上“祝静”二字，很奇特很新颖。当时很多人都写“祝快乐”“祝进步”之类的，唯有他大学四年，70多封 信，每封信都是这两个字。他说：“我知道你爱吵爱闹，常常是表面轰轰烈烈，待到曲终人散，便会有空虚失落感。假如你能够远离喧嚣的人群，静下来认真想一 想，或许更能领会人生的真谛。”
　　工作后，每天六点半起床，七点吃饭，八点上班。先是看当天的报纸，然后编稿，再设计版式。接着外出采访， 然后是写稿、改稿。下班烧饭，饭后看书，忙得像台成天运转的“机器”。直到有一天“机器”支撑不住了，躺在床上静下来，才觉得繁忙的背后，似乎没有什么内 涵。也唯有静下来，才能有机会透过纷纭的表象看到真正的内里，认真体味那位同学关于“静下来”的意境。疲惫时静下来，你会更有信心地走好后面的路；愤怒时 静下来，你更能和风细雨地化解矛盾；紧张时静下来，你会拥有一份从容和镇定。
　　不要因为年轻，就冲动地与你不爱的人结合；不要因为高薪，就 从事你不喜欢的职业；不要因为美色，就放弃与你甘苦与共的爱人。静下心想想，再做一个客观的决定。失意时，不要盲目悲观，静下来，你会发现自己其实有很多 优点；得意时，不要过分忘形，静下来，你会发现这点成功实在是微不足道；痛苦时，不要借酒消愁，静下来，你会发现看淡一点，快乐其实离你并不遥远；绝望 时，不要意气用事，静下来，你会发现生活的另一面正阳光灿烂、繁花似锦……
　　无论经历多少刻骨铭心，经历多少生离死别，只要还能静下来，一切都可以从头开始。时间久了。悲伤和痛苦就会褪色成一朵轻盈的云。
　　来去匆匆的人生旅途中，停住脚步静下来是件幸运的事。整理一下自己的心情，校定方向，再从容起程，或许能走出一个崭新的自我。

欺人者自欺

　　军队训练营内，正在组织一次赛跑，长官非常重视这次比赛，他们决定从中挑选几个人去执行一项艰巨的任务，为此赛跑选了一条十分考验人的路线。
　　赛跑还在继续着。士兵卡尔身材瘦小，他已经多次感到体力不支，眼看着自己越来越落后了，而他却发现，似乎越往后路线越复杂，到后来他已经是寸步难行了。
　　不过，有一个念头始终支撑着卡尔的双腿，那就是“不论第几名，哪怕是最后一名跑到终点，我也要完成这次比赛”。
　　就在卡尔感到体力快透支的时候，他的面前出现了一个岔路口，旁边竖立着两个指示牌，分别标出两条道路：一条是军官跑道，一条是士兵跑道。
　　凭着过去的经验，卡尔知道通常军官跑道要比士兵跑道更平坦，更容易到达终点。虽然心中有一些不平，但卡尔依然朝着士兵跑道的方向继续跑去。
　　同卡尔一样，很多士兵也看到了指示牌，可是大多数人选择了军官跑道。
　　可奇怪的是，卡尔感到脚下的路似乎平坦了许多，跑起来也更轻松。更令人惊奇的是，卡尔没跑出多远，居然在通过一个黑暗的隧道之后就看到了前方飘扬的彩旗，还有设在终点处的主席台—他已经跑完了整个路程。
　　当卡尔跑到终点时，他看到麦克逊将军亲自过来与自己握手，并且祝贺他跑出了前十名的好成绩。卡尔感到不可思议，过去他甚至连前五十名也没有取得过。
　　他问起麦克逊将军那些选择军官跑道的士兵都在哪里，麦克逊将军告诉他：“他们还在路途中，不知道天黑之前能不能到达。”
　　原来，当初设置指示牌的目的，并不是要让军官和士兵分开赛跑，因为这次越野赛根本就没有一名军官参加，之所以要这样设置，完全是为了考验士兵们的诚实度。
　　结果，卡尔以其绝对的诚实赢得了比赛，同时也获得了执行那一项艰巨任务的机会。
　　你对生活表现出的态度越是真诚，生活给你带来的快乐和成功也就越多。不欺骗生活的人，生活终会优待他。

抱怨不如改变

　　在最近一次从苏黎世到纽约的飞行途中，我和一位投资商相邻而坐。随着我们交谈的深入，我得知，他在投资一家规模很小的科技公司时，投入了很多资金，却 收益甚少。他告诉我，他被那家科技公司的老板气得要吐血了。在整个飞行过程中，他没完没了地抱怨着。我问投资商，那个科技公司的家伙令他心烦意乱有多长时 间了？“好几个月了！”他愤愤地回答道。
　　事实上，坐在我身边的这个男人，是一位拥有数百万美元的富翁，在瑞士有一栋富丽堂皇的高档别墅，有一位贤淑而美丽的妻子，有3个可爱的孩子。但这些足以羡煞世人的福分，被一个小公司的小老板轻而易举地就给抹掉了，留在他脑中的全是挥之不去的无尽烦恼。
　　其实，我们绝大多数人都有过类似的经历。一件事情、一个人就能令我们长时间地烦恼，使我们沉浸于懊恼和悲伤中不能自拔。特别是当那个令我们烦恼的人还是一个不会体谅别人、不懂得领情、不会自省的人的时候，情况就会更加糟糕。
　 　有一则古老的寓言，或许可以给我们一些启示。有一个年轻的农夫，划着小船，给另一个村子的居民运送自家的农产品。那天的天气酷热难耐，农夫汗流浃背，苦 不堪言。他心急火燎地划着小船，希望赶紧完成运送任务，以便在天黑之前能返回家中。突然，农夫发现，前面有一只小船，沿河而下，迎面向自己快速驶来。眼看 两只船就要撞上了，但那只船并没有丝毫避让的意思，似乎是有意要撞翻农夫的小船。
　　“让开，快点让开！你这个白痴！”农夫大声地向对面的船 吼叫道：“再不让开你就要撞上我了！”但农夫的吼叫完全没用，尽管农夫手忙脚乱地企图让开水道，但为时已晚，那只船还是重重地撞上了他的船。农夫被激怒 了，他厉声斥责道：“你会不会驾船，这么宽的河面，你竟然撞到了我的船上！”当农夫怒目审视对方小船时，他吃惊地发现，小船上空无一人。听他大呼小叫、厉 声斥骂的只是一只挣脱了绳索、顺河漂流的空船。
　　在多数情况下，当你责难、怒吼的时候，你的听众或许只是一只空船。那个一再惹怒你的人，决不会因为你的斥责而改变他的航向。
　 　当然，你完全不必转而去讨好这个人，也没必要和他达成一致意见，甚至你继续厌烦他也无妨。但你一定要清楚，不能让他制造的麻烦转变成你的烦恼。无论你为 此多么愤怒，他不会为你而失眠的。如果因为他的过错而使你陷入无尽的烦闷悲伤之中，你就成了唯一受到伤害的人，而且，是你自己在强化这种伤害的深度和长 度。
　　我提醒我的邻座乘客，他的责备从更深一层理解，其实是在责备自己用人不察、判断失误，从而在此次投资项目上，做出了一个错误的决定。经过认真思考之后，他认同了我的看法。“这次确实是我决策失误。这么多天来，最让我恼怒的人，其实是我自己。”
　　但是，恼恨自己和恼恨那个科技公司的小老板一样，全都徒劳无益，于事无补。我提醒他，尽管犯了这次错误，他依然是一个非常成功的商人，重要的是应该从这次失败的商业活动中吸取教训，总结经验。
　　在飞行即将结束时，他已经决定，终止损失，卖掉那家科技公司，重新开始。

Self Questioning...

uhm.. lets see.. this is my first post on april.. n now almost middle of april liao.. so.. this post will be much longer thn those previous d.. haha.. hope u all hu reading this wun mind ba..

uhm.. first is.. my dad took back his broadband liao.. T.T so.. now i only can on9 once a week.. if didnt back hometown.. thn.. no on9 liao.. so cham arr.... papa~~~ i wan broadband~~ hehe~ XD

thn.. 1 apr is kent's bday.. hehe.. sorry for d late post arr..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY~

Btw.. dats reminds me bout lots of my frenz bday on apr.. first of all i sure rmb d is ah yee~ 15 apr.. wakaka... i remember ur bday ooo.. got leong sam d ler... haha~ ^^ others ar... hmm.. i hv to check my frenster oni know bout dat.. i old liao ma.. cant rmb dat much.. =X

lets see.. got wat sumore ar... ohya... got many test this month.. tamadun.. fo.. cs.. all seems lik come at once.. feel so frustated nia.. read this thn forget that.. mid nite cant slp well.. thn wake up n stdy till aslp again.. haha.. this funny cycle start on this month ler.. lucky my roomate didnt found out.. if not.. i will get scold nia.. ~.~

uhm.. i stdy dat much also didnt seems work out ler.. coz look at d question paper will blank.. thn.. crap with all those i know d inside.. thn.. right or wrong hv to depends on d teacher liao lo.. cant do much.. at least i try my best to do it liao ma.. hu cares.. not good mah learn frm mistake loo.. bleh.. =P

thn.. on xiao hui bday i cried n make thm worried.. is jz dat i scat myself oni ma.. hahaa.. ok la.. i really will cry easily if sth happen to my family.. hahah.. i admit dat.. im kinda tough.. but.. jz.. my family is my biggest weak point.. hahaha...

n.. ohya.. i did some crazy things with munz n bao bei.. we walked to UTAR jz for d chicken rice dat baobei's mummy recomend d... er.. he jz say not bad la.. but hor.. we went thr twice.. n both day also didnt eat dao d chicken rice.. faint.. but 2nd time got hv lunch with bao bei d daddy n mummy.. hohoho.. n munz spotted big eyes guy.. lol.. now she kinda in d big eye guy fever nia.. anyway.. namo namo.. plz hope dat we can eat dao d chicken rice whn d nx time we go la.. hahahhaaa...

uhm.. ohya!!! i 4gt to put sth dat related to my title d.. okie.. d thing dat i been self questioning myself is..... do i clever?? hmm.. for myself.. i dun think so.. coz i catch things slow.. hv to read few times oni can understand.. hard to memorize things also.. i asked my mum bout dat.. my mum gave mi a funny answer.. 'u dsnt seems dat clever n not dat stupid as i see.' oh my.. dats my mum answer.. i wonder.. she is trying to say im stupid or clever.. =.= hmm.. dun wan figure out liao la.. stupid or clever.. hu cares.. as long i try my best thn can liao loo.. wakakkaaa~~!!

last.. i wanna leave some note for my dear bao bei n munz here.. n for eddie also d.. haha.. dun be too suprise ebbie.. is really for u d.. hahaha...

bao bei,
dun too stress bout urself.. if u know dat u tried your best at d moment.. jz leave d others for the teacher to mark it.. but at least.. u finish it all no matter right or wrong.. u ez to get nervous when u face on sth dat u r not familiar.. dun get panic ya.. take a deep breath n calm down yourself.. think some funny things dat happen recently.. hope dat it will help u to calm down.. ^^ dun be too stress whn with us.. u r not dat bad as u thought.. if have anything.. jz talk to us la.. frenz r born to trouble each other d ma.. haha.. btw.. im really glad to get know your housemate.. they r soo nice, frendly, cute, cool, funny n etc.. hahahaha.. but hor.. feel sorry 4 ur mummy aka dennis.. coz.. cant recognize him.. even i saw him few times liao.. sorry arr~~ T.T hope u wun get angry ar.. >.< (bao bei.. u noe d cute is for sum1 liao d lor... hor...??hehehheheeeee~~~~) anyway.. gambate in stdying ar.. jz left 1 more week liao.. rmb to do your best thn ok liao.. if nid any help.. feel free to ask me ba.. even im not pro n might give some wrong information sometimes la.. hehehe...

munz,
u aslo another 1.. stressing urself to study.. n kip on saying dat u r not clever n n wat n wat.. huiyo.. sumtimes i wan to open up ur head n see wadz inside nia.. haiz.. i also dunno wat to say liao.. =.= focus on your target n go for it la.. dun gv up unless u try it.. there r no stupid person in this world.. oni have those who easily give up n make themselves regret.. resit mah resit la.. so what..??!! give all all u have in the exam.. give the best shot!! now suffer first.. study till wan vomit also study.. after exam.. u wan anyhow scream, laugh, cry or wateva.. i sure will accompany u d.. so.. same la.. if anything i can help out.. can come n find mi d.. tbr oni ma.. 30 mins frm ampang oni.. lols.. im willing to help out here d..

eddie,
i finally read ur post.. i mean d latest post la.. jz go back whn u miss home la.. dun think too much.. even i in seremban also back always ma.. uhm.. home sweet home ler.. house is d most safe place for your heart to rest.. ^o^ okok.. i noe i tok lik an old lady.. even u r ELDER than me.. hohoho.. btw.. wish u gambate n gud luck in your studies.. i noe is hard for u all to stdy soo many subs in a short time.. dun gv up n go for it ba.. mentally support u.. in action ma.. haha.. sure will support also d.. but if u dun mind i gv wrong d answer lo.. hehe.. nah.. jz kiddin la.. i wil try my best to help also d.. ^^

for all my frenz..
STRESSED = DESSERTS.. so think bout your weight.. dun eat too many desserts.. n rmb to make urself relax n comfortable always.. gambate n gud luck ya.. ^o^

life...?

im getting tired of this.. really tired.. looking at the same ppl.. facing the same attitude.. hearing the same thing bout the same person.. is there any changes??

I WAN SOME CHANGES!!

i guess i do start to change myself a bit..
hmm.. walk bac frm col.. trying to enjoy the time whn i walk back.. but i noe.. there will be no one waiting for mi at home.. no one will say "welcome back".. the only thing that wait for me is my dad d laptop.. quietly lying on my table.. waiting me to switch on it......

i cried.. few time whn i walk back from col.. walking alone on the street.. listening to my old mp3.. the same songs played over n over.....

whn i reached home.. i try to make myself as busy as possible.. mayb someone will say.. 'why dun u jz hang out wit frenz?' haha.. will there any difference...?? whn i reach home.. i still alone.. n im afraid dat i will get used to depends on frenz....

im not a cry baby.. but my tears will automatically flow out.. i guess i over control my feelings in front of ppl.. i dun wan my housemate to worry me.. i dun wan my frenz to worry me either.. all i can do is enjoy the time whn i was with them.. hah~ sure i do enjoy that..

recently.. my old injury come bac.. stupid right leg.. sigh~ i wonder whn oni i recover again from the dam injury.. i guess my leg gonna wrapped lik an elephant leg again.. with all those chinese herbs smell.. faint down.. dat dun bother mi till whn i nid to bath.. i only can laugh at myself with the stupid look.....

whn.. whn oni i can fly up to the sky...?? haha.. i dun mean dat i really wanna fly in d sky.. jz.. a description.. or all i can say this sentance jz pop out of my mind.. haha.. an ordinary person said nonsence d word.. wat an idiot....

btw.. loong.. thanks for the purple crystal that u gave me last time.. the memories make me smiles.. n.. tell u what.. that crystal is my guradian crystal now.. i guess u wun xpect dat ba.. even though u said dat u gave mi is to protect me.. haha.. i never change anything on d crystal.. even the necklace.. jz.. it cracked.. dun ask mi the reason.. i feel bad to tell u bout dat.. dun ask dun ask.. hehe.. i guess is too late tell tell u.. even though i jz told u on ur bday.. n.. i still lik last time.. can sense ur msg whn it almost arrive.. haha.. mayb jz ngam ngam i sense dao ba.. haha...

sumore.. munz n bao bei said i used to stare at 1 point wit a mood look.. hmm.. now i nid to xplain here.. i jz thinking wat i shd do.. sumtimes thinking sth till forgetting others liao ma.. not purposly d la.. if u wanna noe wat i thinking... xplore my brain ba.. haha.. anyway.. i will do dat less d la.. dun worry..

hmm.. half hour more to go to wake up sum1.. haha.. i guess i better stop here.. n continue my tutorial question first.. if cant finish thn cham liao loo......

nites.. everyone.. ~.~

Future Path

seeing most of my housemate hv problems whn their training n internship.. i realised.. i shd decide my path also.. even im still in diploma yr 1... kinda early to decide dat also.. but i guess is not dat late until i will face my training at d end of year 2..

first, whr shd i choose for my working place..?? is not lik i decide to work in hotel, resorts or wat.. but is shd i choose in kl? in seremban? or somewhere else dat i never been to live??

for myself.. i hope dat i can go somewhere elso to work.. any state in M'sia.. or i hv a chance.. i wan to go overseas.. everyplace have their diff culture n living style.. i wish to experience d difference..

if in kl.. first is bout d hectic life to stuck in jam.. working is not tiring.. but stuck in d jam is making ppl to get insane.. if i can.. i wun choose to work in kl..

in seremban.. is near my home.. is better n can take care of my parents.. but.. i dun think dat my parents want me to stay beside them forever n lik a child dat never grow up.. i shd go look around the world with my own eyes n gain the experience..

my roomate said sth dat make mi thinks a lot..

human are all alone, since they are born n til the end of their day..

i guess i kinda agree with that statement also.. as an example la.. if u work alone n a company n get scold by ur supervisor.. will any1 stand out n help u?? will any1 comfort u??

i dont mean dat all those ppl r cold blooded.. for me.. geting scold means dat i stil can do better that i did b4.. so.. take it urself n make n improvement.. even though getting scold really can make ppl feels bad.. really bad.. haha..

uhm.. i heard this phrase sumwhere else also d.. i guess is frm an anime.. (ps: im an anime freak)

u nid to completely get beaten down before u learn how to stand up by urself..

this theory jz lik a lion push the cub frm the hill.. let d kid to learn how to survive with their own skill.. i guess im lucky.. coz my parents didnt throw me out whn im learning to survive.. hahaaha~

no matter what.. parents always worried bout their kids.. hm.. they have weird combination also d.. one is they afraid dat their child cant survive in d competition in d society now.. but.. if they let thm hv their full freedom.. will d children noe how to organize d use of their freedom..?? i guess they might have some bad record in d police station b4 d age of 18..

sigh.. this world is fair n cruel.. jz depends how u look at it.. u cant make a perfect choice.. jz lik in order to get sth.. u nid to prepare dat sth will need to be sacrificed.. this is wat they call scarcity..
dat makes mi rmb bac my economy teacher.. is so dam realistic..

so.. expose urself to d world ba.. get the experience.. any experience also will become your memory whn old.. dont doubt bout d future.. dont regret once u decide on sth.. thrs nth such as reverse bac the time.. treasure the evry moment ba..

lectured by,
Karman

Otani & Koizumi (All Hanshyin Kyojin)

y i wan to put those 2 name as my title..??

uhm well.. i will tell here.. ^^

both of them r d main character in Lovely Complex.. (dats an anime)

i learn kinda things in there.. theres too many to tell about.. so i would conclude some here..

Q: will u lik someone that shorter thn u?
A: thrs nth to care if u love someone.. love is unlimited to any terms n conditions.. u cant sign an agreement for dat.. haha

Q: wat will u do if u get rejected by the same person TWICE??
A: go for it!! even u SAID dat u wil gv up.. but apparently.. u heart n mind THINK dat u cant gv up n will fight till the last moment!!

okie.. so i shd recomend u all to watch d anime.. haha.. if want thn can borrow from me d~ ^^

unspoken words...

i guess im getting a bit emotional... i thought dat my tears had dried out.. but.. it keep on flowing out.. i wonder why....

thers no reason i shd cry.. i guess.. i feel guilty n bad ba.. if im in d position.. i sure will angry too.. n of coz.. a promise dat cant be kept.. wat a thing.. sigh..

da jie.. sorry.. really sorry.. i dunno wat i can say xcept keep on apologize ler.. anyway~ u r d best in my heart~!!

losing my appetite..

i wonder wat happen to me recently.. jz lik kip on losing my appetite.. d food hardly attract me to eat it.. hais.. i guess i used to mum's cooking whn holiday ba.. keep on looking forward to go back home... but this week mum goin to penang.. n i have test on sat also.. hais.. cant go back liao.. uhm well.. i guess im goin to cook on sat i think.. even only have a rice cooker.. nvm.. at least can make porridge.. fried vege.. or i can try cook at downstairs... as long got gas la.. hahahaaa..

anyway.. im trying my best to get back my appetite.. but lucky now.. even i dun hv appetite.. but i still got eat some d.. jz skip some meal oni ma.. haha.. XD

hope dat i wil have back my appetite soon ba..

Alone

A dry breeze is blowing
The city is getting cold
I wonder how many seasons have passed
without even a sound?

All of the people coming and going
bear heavy burdens,
searching for tomorrow
within the heat haze wavering in the distance.

Feelings like sand
falling through my hands...
Back then, the words that pierced my heart
suddenly started to throb with pain, but...

I've searched for pieces of myself,
counting the endless nights all the while.
These feelings are becoming so certain
I almost lose myself.
Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far.

I wonder, why is the sky so vast?
Even though I tried to yell, my voice didn't come...
and the tears poured out...

I wonder where the birds are flying off to,
as they freely slice through the wind?
One can't return to the same place
as it once was in days gone by.

Even if I give up my dream like this,
I won't suppress my soaring heartbeat.
Someday, I want to reach as high as the clouds.
I'll spread wide the wings in my heart and journey once again

I will reach it, without fail.

I've searched for pieces of myself,
counting the endless nights all the while.
These feelings are becoming so certain
I almost lose myself.
Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far.

neh neh neh~~ RESULTS!!

results out liao luu.. hm.. im glad i didnt fail.. but seeing my frenz around me didnt get their ideal results.. dat make mi feel bad..

1st is munz.. she cried.. uhm.. i had tried my best to comfort her.. but dat didnt seems any better.. n she still cried whn reach bao bei's house.. bao bei d housemate were shocked.. oh my.. their xpression were soo funny.. thn bili bala bili bala.. n rainbow n d gang here... n bili bala bili bala sumore.. n finally mr eddie cum to bao bei house also.. since we r eating lunch at bao bei house coz she goin to cook.. d best part is we close eddie n munz in bao bei d room.. thn... uhm.. a dramatic xtra loud conversation begins.. even im in d kitchen also can heard dat.. afta dat munz seem be better.. oh well.. i guess im not dat good in comforting ppl.. hah!

2nd is bao bei.. she checked her results also.. n i see her.. dsnt feel dat good as well.. she jz lik trying hard to pretend dat she is nth.. n yet munz keep on mentioning bout d result.. hmm.. i really feel bad for her.. hope dat she will look thru dat in a positive way ba... cheer up bao bei!!! a big big kiss for u~ MUACKS!!!!

3rd is rainbow.. i know her results whn on d way to col wit bao bei.. she told mi dat her results is not good.. but she get thru dat i think..

uhm.... i dunno wat shd i do for my frenz xcept cheering for them.. i guess i might able to help a bit in their subs.. perhaps.. i really could help them.. anyway.. im not dat good either.. jz lucky a bit ba.. if not i really dunno how to xplain my situation ady.. hais haizzzzzz~~

a letter.. from myself to another me...

dear karman,

girl.. u have being nuts in your whole life.. carrying those bad memories in your mind n make urself tired n feel bad.. u r such a dumb.. A MEMORY IS A MEMORY!! dats a past n u shdnt live in your past.. y u carry those silly memoriess n make urself suffer?? fake smiling in front of ppl, swallowing those tears bac into your stomach.. mayb n perhaps, u have d real smile sumtimes.. but u let ur bad memories make d smile fade away..

R U STUPID??
R U IDIOT??
R U DUMMY??

think those bad memorise wun help u to grow up n become more mature.. dat only will make u live in ur old life, live in ur memories!!

U R NOT DAT OLD TO LIVE IN UR MEMORIES, ARENT U?? U GOIN TO HAVE UR 19TH BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR N GOIN TO BE 21 IN 2 MORE YEARS.. CANT U BE MORE MATURED?? CANT U MAKE UR FAMILY LESS WORRY BOUT U?? CANT U MAKE D PPL FEEL EASY WITH U?? CANT U??!!

d clock wun stop for anyone.. time is ticking away.. d earth stil moving.. every second goes by cant come back.. a human shd live for future but not d past.. cant u understand those theory..?? if u can say it.. thn u shd mean it....

girl.. is time to give up for those bad memories.. give up dsnt mean to forget it all.. but jz let it go.. let d bad memories fade away as d time passes..

i noe, dat wound wun recover quickly.. i noe, sumtimes u wil rmb bac those memoreis again.. i noe, even d wound recovered, it might have a scar there.. jz let it be.. dats a scar that proves u had success.. success to overcome those bad memories..

gambate.. dun let those ppl around u to worry bout u.. show ur brightest smile from d bottom of ur heart.. i know u can do dat.. i noe u can.. jz believe in urself.. theres no perfect ppl in this world.. jz be the best u could.. i would support u wit my heart..

Even when it seems that nothing can go right
and you want to just give up,
if you close your eyes,
you can see the world from your heart.

In this world when life can be so tough
You must be strong
Just believe in yourself and don't you fear
So open up your mind and close your eyes
Take another look from the other side

Even on a lonely night, when you wander afraid,
you may be alone now, but
your feet can take you however far you want to go, so

Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, there's a shining light there.
Yes, I want you to believe in everything.
You can take another look from the other side

Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can't see tomorrow.
Yes, if you have the strength to live,
You can take another look from the other side,
until you find all that is love...

I wish for you to have the strength
to make it through this world,
so open up your mind,
and you'll be able to see...

Just remember you are not alone
So don't you fear
Even though you're miles away
I'm by your side
So open up your mind and close your eyes
I'll be there for you no matter where you are

The stars may live for a long time, but that doesn't mean
that the same days will repeat over and over forever.
None can see into tomorrow.

Just hold on tight, because if you close your eyes,
look inside yourself, you'll feel a heartbeat.
Yes, I want you to believe in the future.
You can take another look from the other side.

Just hold on tight, even if your heart is breaking.
Reach into your soul, even if you can't see tomorrow.
Yes, there's another world out there.
You can take another look from the other side,
and you'll be able to find all that is love...

is time to change urself.. go for it......

love,
ka-man

moving to new house

gosh.. now oni i noe dat i have sooooo many things in my room.. dolls, clothes, decoration, memories, books, this n dat.. gosh.. is kinda headache to pack those... xspecially for sum1 (me lor) hu less pack things.. n yet.. some of dat is covered with dust.. gosh.. ddat make my eyes reddish.. nose keep on sneezing n turn red... n..

taa~daaaa~~

i turned into a 'hubit' (human+rabbit)

dats not fun to turned into dat AT ALL!!!

WRAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

DAT REALLY MAKES MI FEELS....... S I C K!!!!

anyway.. i hope dat i can finish those stuff early.. n yet.. col is gonna reopen.. n yet.. i haven prepare things to bac my kl room.. n yet.. mum's bday on sun.. n yet.. my col reopen on next mon.. n yet.. n yet..........

dats soo many things i haven do!!!!!!!
WAKAOOOOOO!!!
*dats ur own problem... hu ask u to do things last minz...?? hmph!!*

hais.. poor little karman have to pack things n face those dust again liao........ T____T

by,
=KaRMaN= aka =HuBiT=

做好自己就行了

　　一天，一条小泥鳅从淤泥里探出头来，想到清水里自在地畅游一会儿。恰在这个时候，一群鲤鱼从它身边游过。小泥鳅友好地向鲤鱼们打招呼：“你们好啊，鲤鱼姐姐！”鲤鱼们仔细一看，原来是一条丑陋的小泥鳅！
　　鲤鱼们先是一阵哄笑，继而争相嘲讽小泥鳅说：“瞧那个丑陋不堪的小家伙，整天把自己憋在淤泥里，一身脏臭，简直丢我们鱼类的脸！”
　　小泥鳅正想搭话，其余的鲤鱼又说：“它哪属于我们鱼类啊？你别抬举它了，它整天生活在黑暗的淤泥里，吃的是淤泥，喝的也是淤泥，它简直是一条臭虫啊！”语毕，鲤鱼们又得意地笑着游开了。
　　小泥鳅悲伤地回到了家里，茶饭不思。泥鳅妈妈看到这些，就知道自己的孩子肯定在外面受了委屈，于是就上前问个究竟。
　　小泥鳅就把白天的鲤鱼之辱告诉了妈妈。它原本以为自己的妈妈肯定会痛骂那些道貌岸然的鲤鱼，为自己出口气。
　 　哪知道妈妈不但没有骂它们，反倒微笑着对它说：“宝贝啊，难道别人的几句话就能把你气成这样吗？那你的度量也就太小了吧？孩子，你要知道，我们鱼类之所 以能够在水中生活，是因为我们拥有独特的呼吸系统。呼吸系统越发达的鱼就越优秀。那些嘲笑你的鲤鱼，它们只能在水中呼吸。而你呢，不光能在水中畅快地游 泳，即使是到了糊状的淤泥里也能游刃有余地生活。这正是你的优秀所在！鲤鱼们之所以嘲笑你，正是因为它们羡慕你的本领！鲤鱼的颜色怎么会是红的呢？正是它 们喜欢眼红别人所致呀！我的孩子，当再有人嘲笑你时，你要知道这是一种别人对自己的妒忌和羡慕。试想，它们为什么不嘲笑别人，却单单嘲笑你呢？”
　　小泥鳅听了妈妈的解释后，甜美地笑了。
　　其实，在这个世界上，大家往往不是被水和淤泥淹死，而是被别人的口水淹死的！何必在乎别人的流言呢？假如你只是条泥鳅，只要做好自己就行了。

一句最美好的祝福

　　一位友人在与我通电话后，结尾总忘不了说一句：吃得好些，活得开心最重要。有点像家中的老人。
　　起初的感觉是有些土，而且有些好笑，但后来却感到真是一句最原始又最永恒的祝福。
　　能够在活着时豁达一些，不看重名利，凡事顺其自然，其实无论从哪个角度说，已是很高境界。
　 　成年人大多数诸多烦心事，沉重负担，重重压力。因此绝大多数不愿意，或者说是不敢说出真心话。如果你问他们心里真正渴望得到什么，低调一些的也许会说， 世界和平，家庭幸福，身体健康；张扬一些的，大约就是名成利就，富甲一方等等吧。可能很少有人会直言不讳说自己真正渴望的是快乐享受，男欢女爱。或许是社 会从来不允许这种奢侈，或许因为大多数人根本做不到。
　　遗憾的是，不愿说的偏偏真实可信。愿望不够宏伟是不是，真的。
　　许多人穷极一生，争斗得头崩额裂，非要一分胜负，到头来与对手双双躺进棺材里，不知道其时有无开窍醒悟，意识到有限生前真是浪费了太多时间。
　　一杯碧螺春，清香质朴，配上一首怀旧歌曲，窗外有缠绵不绝的毛毛细雨，似乎穿越时光隧道，回到了许多年之前。那时不用在社会上混，笨是笨了些，多少还清白。今日已然千疮百孔，再也回不去。
　　从无拥有过大富大贵，当然亦无资格说什么返璞归真。
　　只是终于明白，看似小小的，真实无华的愿望，其实竟是最难实现的。
　　“吃得好些，活得开心最重要”。是呵，这永远是一句最美好的祝福。

爱的位置

他和她是在一个朋友的生日PARTY上认识的。她在一家公司做财务总监，他则经营一家小小的咖啡店。因为地角有些偏僻，咖啡店的生意有些清淡。
　　见她第一面的时候，他就被她身上散发出的高雅气质给深深吸引住了。朋友的未婚妻与她在同一家公司任职，当他知道她仍是单身贵族之后，便主动发起了“攻击”。
　　她对他的印象也不错。不久，俩人便相恋了。
　　他经常约她到咖啡店来，然后亲自为她煮上一杯香气四溢的咖啡。他俩一边品着咖啡，一边聊天。时而，他还要起身去照顾一下生意。这样的日子，温馨中透着浪漫，她喜欢那种宁静的氛围，更喜欢他那真诚的眼神和略带孩子气的笑脸。
　 　每到5月樱桃熟透的时节，他总会抽出时间来，驾车带她一起去山里采樱桃。那一簇簇火红的樱桃点缀在葱茏的叶丛中，远远看去，每一棵樱桃树都变成了一个用 绿玉和红玛瑙精琢而成的盆景。在樱桃园里，她兴奋得像个孩子似的，不停地伸手采摘下一枚枚红樱桃，放入嘴里。见她吃得开心的样子，他总是在一旁提醒说： “不要多食，会闹肚子的……”
　　像他俩一样的情侣游客很多。樱桃树容易够到的位置，大都剩下了一些生得较小的樱桃粒子。她仰着头，在叶丛中寻找，她指着高处那些没有被采摘过的樱桃说：“那些樱桃又红又大，一定好甜好甜!”
　　尽管樱桃树大都长得不高，但是樱桃园的管理者有规定，游客在采摘樱桃的时候，不准借助工具，以防止游客在采摘的时候不慎将树枝折断。因此，瞅着高处那些又红又大的樱桃，他也有些为难。
　　他忽然想起童年时候玩的一种游戏，便俯下身子对她说：“来，我驮你摘! ”
　 　起初，她有些难为情，但最终，还是被他说服了，便跨到他的肩膀上。她的身材纤瘦，他没有费多大气力便将她驮了起来。坐在他的肩上，她感觉自己忽然变成了 一个巨人，那些生在高处的樱桃唾手可得。她一边笑着，一边在翠绿的叶丛中挑选那些大个儿的樱桃。她还会把那些最大个儿的樱桃，塞入他的嘴里作为“赏赐”。
　　其他一些情侣，看到他俩的办法很实用，也纷纷模仿。一时之间，樱桃园里飘出一阵阵开心的笑声。
　　3年之后，他俩结了婚。
　 　婚后的第一个春天，他俩又一起去摘樱桃。她想起曾驮在他的肩上在树丛中穿行采摘樱桃的情景，忍不住笑了起来，便兴奋地说：“再驮我摘一会儿樱桃吧!”随 后，她摆出跃跃欲试的姿势。他思忖了一会儿，竟然微笑着摇了摇头。她没有执意要求他像以前那样驮自己，然而内心却生出一股莫名的失落。
　　在往回赶的路上，她盯着车厢里那一袋丈夫为她采摘的红樱桃沉默不语。他仿佛猜透了她的心思，便关切地问：“你今天玩得不高兴，是不是因为我没有像从前一样驮你呢? ”
　　她故意露出一丝笑容，但是仍掩饰不住内心的失落。
　　他踩下刹车，异样真诚地解释说：“现在我们和以前不同了，我们的身上有更多的责任。”说到这里，他用手指了指她肚子，继续说：“我可不想让孩子有什么闪失。”此时，她才明白他的心思，依偎在他的身边，眼里蒙上了一层幸福的泪花。
　　恋爱与婚姻，更像是一次位置的改变。恋爱的时候，总是一方对另一方百般呵护，不惜将对方驮在肩上；而婚姻是需要两个人面对共同的责任，一方从对方的肩头落到实处上。

有关爱情

　　日色欲尽花含烟，月明欲素愁不眠。

　　赵瑟初停凤凰柱，蜀琴欲奏鸳鸯弦。

　　此曲有意无人传，愿随春风寄燕然。

　　忆君迢迢隔青天，昔日横波目，今作流泪泉。

　　不信妾断肠，归来看取明镜前。（李白）




　　恋爱他到底是什么一回事？

　　他来的时候我还不曾出世；太阳为我照上了十五个年头，我只是个孩子，认不识半点愁；

　　忽然有一天──我又爱又恨那一天──

　　我心坎里痒齐齐的有些不连牵，那是我这辈子第一次上当，有人说是受伤──你摸摸我的胸膛──

　　他来的时候我还不曾出世，恋爱他到底是什么一回事？（徐志摩）




　　世界上最遥远的距离，不是我生与死

　　而是，我就站在你面前，你却不知道我爱你

　　世界上最遥远的距离，不是我就站在你面前，你却不知道我爱你

　　而是，明明知道彼此相爱，却不能在一起

　　世界上最遥远的距离，不是明明知道彼此相爱，却不能在一起

　　而是，明明无法抵挡这股想念，却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里

　　世界上最遥远的距离，不是明明无法抵挡这股想念，却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里

　　而是，用自己冷漠的心对爱你的人，掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠（泰戈尔）

for my dad

dad.. plz be care for others.. i didnt mean dat u r not care for us.. but d way u used is wrong.. every1 hv their thoughts.. so do bro n i.. we hv our difficult moment too.. u cant xpect us to be perfect.. we jz wanna hv a place to speak out our problems.. n dats is at home.. mom did a great job bout dat.. she listen to us quietly n let us speak out out problem.. but u dad.. bro n i didnt hope to get lectured n nagged.. please do care bout our feelings.. listen to us.. know dat wat we want.. we didnt seems as d person us u thought.. im really appriciate bout dat.. even u wun saw d post i put at here..

we always love u dad.. but plz do change a bit bout ur attitude.. dats make ppl more easier n happy bout dat..

complicated..

i think im totally messed up.. sum1 asked mi.. wat is love?? i dunno..
ok.. thn a special person ask mi bout mine n his relationship..
i jz able to answer him dat not friend.. not couple.. i dunno wat shd i do now..
jz lik hanging in between.. dats really sux for me.. but i dunno i shd move forward or backwards..
uhm.. i doubt bout dat..

i think before to move bacwards.. but.. but.. wat bout him.. dats not my problem only.. i cant be so selfish bout dat.. sigh.. i cant do a perfect choice unless making sum1 hurt.. n i dun wannna make ppl around me get hurt.. sad..

teach mi how to do.. i dunno bout dat..