past.. present.. future..

in d past..
i was kinda naive.. thinking that everyone is the good person in this world.. thinking that life will be better when tomorrow.. thinkng that my life is colourful and wonderful.. everyday pass with colours.. thinking that if i treat ppl good.. ppl treat me didnt treat me well also nvm.. im finding for my trueself.. sometimes.. i be fake infront of ppls.. sometimes.. ppls cant accept my true self.. i wonder.. shd i be fake or true...??

in d present..
i learned to be fake in front of certain ppl.. i learn to dealing with different kinds of ppl.. but still... i think dat everyone is good in this world.. even though i hate d ppl very much.. mayb u will say dat was really fake.. but if u think another way.. u will found dat u r d one who being stubborn all d time n yet theres no ppl care how stubborn u r.. haha.. dats is really funny.. is all bout communication problem.. and also characteristic problem.. mix with those ppl who have diff characteristic.. discover the good side of those ppl.. ignore d bad side of d ppl.. i wonder will this way works out...?? neh.. hu cares... i jz wanna live my own life n enjoy the every moment in my life~ ^^

in the future..
no matter how hard or how easy my future will be.. i still wanna paint my life.. with colours.. every moment with the colours i desire.. making myself busy will be a good way i think.. coz lik dat my brain will coz didnt function n getting older.. haha.. hu cares first la.. live the fullest.. dats alli wan.. dats all i hope.. no matter how i goin to be.. im jz a life painter who trying to paint my life well~ is jz me.. d baka karman.. XD

Gettin... F A T ! ! !

gosh.. i wonder wat happen to me recently.. i jz lik to keep on eating.. eating.. n eating...

hmm.. well... jz lik non-stop eating.. biscuit, snacks, milk, soup, milo.... iisshhhh!! lik dat i mah cham liao lo?? keep on eating till lik a pail.. 38,38,38... (o.O) dats a truely nitemare... dammit!!

oh god~ i nid to set up a plan to make my life more better.. if not i sure will obesity.. haha.. lik dat will sounds a terrible matter for me~ so...

KARMAN IS ON DIET NOW~!!!!! LOLS~

In the coming X'mas

hohoho~ Merry X'Mas~~

chotto~!!!

(o.O) simi oo??

weiiii~!! u 4gt 'go dong' lerrrr~!!! =.=lll u r chinese or not ooo?? lolsss...

...

ps to all.. im trying to SS here.. Syok Sendiri.. nth to do nia.. =.= too wu liao liao.. wakakaa~

anyway.. i really lookin forward for X'Mas.. coz im goin out shopping with housemate dat time.. not only shopping oo.. sing K also.. if can ooo.. can go Gasoline eat dinner~ wooohooo~~ too nice to think bout dat.. hahhaaaaaa~~~!!!

hm.. how bout X'Mas present?? erm.. i think bout dat b4 d.. n wanna list a lots of ppl to gv.. but gt sum1 make me dunno wat shd i gv ler.. coz i dunno wat he likes.. hais.. wat a failure.. >.<

cham lo.. i really no idea bout dat.. sobb~ sobb~~ hu~ can~ help~ me~~~~~?? T_T

nvm la.. dun wan to think first.. haha.. dat time oni see how lu.. ^_^v

Better In Time - Leona Lewis

a song that remind me bout my memories.. no matter is sweet or bitter.. is all in it..
thx 4 ash jie to intro me this song.. it do suit me.. i lik it very much..

lyric:

"Better In Time"

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be OK

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be OK

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: X2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

guys n galz.. go search 4 this song.. i hope u all can enjoy it..

Truth or Dare

i lik this game very much.. coz i feel dat i can discover another side of mine whenever i being truth or dare..

truth.. sometimes.. we wont notice the things around us.. but others will.. in this game.. they will ask out something that shd be think carefully.. eg/ ur emotion n ur thoughts..

dare.. do the things that u will never do in your whole life.. train urself to be brave to speak out n speak up~ haha.. jz doin crazy things as ur memories.. a wonderful n funny memories that u will remember till the end of ur life.. dats how i think bout d daring things~

we wont know wat will happen on the next day.. mayb ur end of ur life is on the next day? hour? min? sec?

so.. treasure everything that u have.. so that u wont regret on that day~

Sudden sick.. food poisoning...??

friday,evening

after back from carrefore, i feel headache and very tired.. after eating a panadol.. then i went to slp liao..

bout 7pm sth.. i woke up by YS's call.. coz he want to borrow toilet.. i jump up from my bed n feel very dizzy.. then i jz ignore it.. when i walk to stairs.. i feel that d stairs are 'walking'.. i cant see my steps clearly.. however.. i jz keep 1 of my eyes closed and walk down.. phew~ safe!! didnt roll down from stairs.. haha..

then i walk to d gate to open d lock.. my sight still cant see clearly.. head still pain.. and feel dizzy.. finally YS came.. after i saw him walk in.. he talk to me something.. but i cant hear clearly.. i feel lik wan to faint ady.. then i walk back to upstairs with an uneasy, n dizzy feeling..

my roomate, cloudy, she saw me n shocked!! coz my face was pale.. i told her bout my fren is downstairs thn i rush inside toilet and have diherrea.. i feel my head was knocking by hundreds of hammer and feel lik wanna vommit.. lucky.. i able to stop myself from vommiting.. haha
cloudy n my housemate are shocked.. coz when evening.. im still ok.. when midnight.. another suprise.. i get high fever without notice.. cloudy notice it.. when she put a wet towel on my forehead.. only i know that im having high fever.. lols..

all the night.. i cant slp well.. keep on waking up.. till 6 something only can fall asleep.. but when 7 sth.. munz called me.. coz i suppose to go for acc lec on 8am.. i tell her i skip class.. coz sick liao.. haha.. then i wake up and hav bath.. after bath.. fever again.. lols.. lucky d fever reduce when cloudy back.. if not i sure wil get scold.. >.<

till now.. im bac to seremban ady.. lucky no fever ady.. but.. get flu liao... swt.. =.= dunno when only i can get well from these sick thinggy.. ROAR!!

The Moment - Kenny G

i wonder before.. is there anything that last forever??
for me.. i think.. memories do last forever.. haha

the moment i know you.. im glad.. i know a new fren and i can get along with you..

the moment we chat 2gether.. i know.. you are a very nice fren that willing to listen to me and give me opinion..

the moment we meet.. i know.. i cant judge a person by conversation and i have to look further in you..

the moment u look at me.. i know.. im hiding my eyes from you.. cause i not dare to look into your eyes.. though is kinda not respect you..

there is lots of the moment in my life.. i cant list it all out.. but i know that those moments are my treasure.. i will never forget bout that.. ^^

i cried..

for the first time.. i cried.. i wonder why i would cry..
i also dunno.. i ask my heart.. my heart replies me.. u like him..
haha.. my brain denied that.. looks like my mind n soul doesnt co-operate well..

at first.. i jz sobbing.. but. after u called up me.. my tears rolled down..
no matter how i rub it off with tissue.. i still cant stop them from rolling down..

i went to bath after dat.. in the toilet.. i cant stop myself from keep on crying..
the tears mixed with the water.. i cant differentiate dat..
i only can say to myself.. i didnt cry at all.. dats jz tap water from the shower..
but my reddish eyes had tell the truth......

Suprised from u.. haha~ (o.O)

u told me that.. u do view my blog.. im so suprised.. really suprise..
i think i kinda have mixed feelings..
first of all.. of coz.. suprise..
coz i never xpect u will look at it.. haha.. =x

2nd.. im happy.. coz u do read wat i write there..

3rd.. a bit sad.. haha.. im thinking.. 'y u dun wan to ask me urself ler??'
of coz.. happy is more thn d little sad thinggy~ ^^

i guess u r rite.. girls r complicated homo sapiens.. lols..
n.. im one of them.. =.=
dont u think so??

iS Jz FoR u..

because of u.. i found myself..
because of u.. i found my heart..
because of u.. i know what is love..
because of u.. i know i love you..

but.. i not dare to say out..
but.. i not dare to admit it..
but.. i cant do anything..
but.. i cant let u know i love you..

im so stupid..
im so greedy..
im so coward..
im so useless..

tOo MuCh tO SaY..

is too much thinggy to let mi to post n say.. i cant post n type in all in same time.. is all in my mind.. my memories.. no matter good or bad.. laughs or tears.. i dont know how to post it all in the same time..

in future ba.. i will post it.. is my memories.. no matter what.. i will post it.. lols.. i keep on repeating that i will post it.. if i didnt.. thn mah cham lor...??

i found that i really like to cry recently.. i wonder why??
izzit i too stress..? or i jz wan cry to release my stress??
i too miss home?? i found that im very useless??
i found that im not perfect?? i found that no matter how hard i tried, i still cant do the best??
i feel that my life suddenly become colourless?? i feel that.. not everything had gone the path that i expected??
i feel that i cant solve those unpredictable problems?? i feel that i really useless no matter how i try to be hardworking??
i feel that im too stupid to let people play lik a fool?? i feel that i cant reject ppls help no matter how i much i hate the person??

is too much to complete.. is too mch to say.. is too much for me.....

im trying my best to be the best i could.. im still learning.. no matter what.. i will do the best.. no matter how many times i fell down.. i will stand up and continue my road.. my path.. no matter how much my blood had bleed.. i will still walk to my target.. no matter how hard is the path.. i will complete it.. till the end of my life....

Sudden 'pop out' thoughts..

having u in my life is the most wonderful thing that ever happened.. tell me.. if i let u choose between fish and bear palm.. which will u choose?? jz lik in our life.. we cant choose both at the same time.. in order to get something, we have to sacrifice something..

between love n study, i choose study.. between family and study, i choose family.. no matter what.. i know that family always first.. study 2nd n love..?? 3rd or 4th..

i dun plan to be single forever.. but dun think to marry that fast also.. life is wonderful.. is full of colours.. i wish to enjoy my life.. let everything to be natural.. ^^ natural always the best.. haha

HoMe sWeEt HoMe

after 2 weeks i didnt bac to seremban.. i found that no matter where am i.. i will always wish to bac home..

jz now.. when i just bac to home.. just dad and bro around.. mum had went to sepang for some work.. i look at my dad.. i found that.. i almost 1 month didnt see my dad.. whn i look at my bro.. hmm.. even worst... i think i had 2 month didnt see that fatty bro..


thn.. we had lunch.. baked beans with onion, fried japanese tofu and fried mixed vegetables.. even though is simple.. but i can feel my mums heart when she preparing and cooking those dishes for us.. my tears almost coming out when eating.. though 2 of the dishes is canned food.. though those dishes are really simple.. though all my family members not sitting around the dining table n have meal as last time.. but i really appriciate that moment.. the moment that i can gather with my family..

Home.. is the warmest place in the world.. mum.. dad.. bro.. im bac.. i miss u all so much.. i love u all...

KeNt

hmm.. y i use a person name for this post.. hehe..
dun simply guess oo.. he is 1 of my special fren.. how special?? dun ask mi bout dat.. lols..

i rmb.. d way i noe him.. id from maple story.. an on9 game.. he is a really nice and frenly person.. i lik to talk to him.. ^^ is an enjoy to talk to him.. no stress.. nth to hide frm.. haha..

n d first time i meet him in real world is coz i ask him for a help in my pratical work.. i really appriciate him.. really.. he always willing to listen to me, gv mi opinion and offer help to me..
im glad.. im really glad to hv a nice fren lik him.. i will never regret to hv a fren lik him.. ^^

thank a lot kent~ this is a special post for u only d~ ^^ hehe~~

sHoUt OuT!!

plz.. gimme d defination of group work.. i wonder y shd i doin this alone??
WHY?? ok.. nvm la.. i can do it alone.. but.. at least u all ask me do i hv any help anot la..
why la all shut up like dunno what happen?? im jz a normal human.. im not perfect n not super.. dont think that im all purpose.. im jz a normal human being who try to be the bast i could..

plz.. gimme some time to let mi relax myself.. i cant breath ady.. i feel lik an invisible rope hanging on my neck.. and.. im struggling for fresh air.. for a moment to breath.. i will be greatful for that.. thanks.. >.<

by
=HaLf_DeAd_KaRMaN=

CaKe LuM..?? WTH??!!

i got a new nicname.. CAKE in chinese.. swt rite?? guess hu gv mi dat funny d nick name.. is MAGGIE'S BIG BRO!!

it happens lik that.. got 1 day, maggie fetch mi to her stall eat lunch coz i never been to her stall b4.. after that, we went to jusco wanga to buy sushi n have a walk while waiting her big bro to bac from KLCC.. when we pass by secret recipe.. i went in to buy my fav cake.. n maggie saw a white chocolate cake.. she told mi that she likes white chocolate very much.. so i decided to buy a slice of that for her coz she treat mi lunch at her stall just now..

bout 4.15pm.. finally her bro bac by lrt to wangsa station.. so we went to fetch her bro n his fren.. the conversation between maggie n her bro really funny.. haha.. when maggie drop mi at my home there.. i jz go down n leave the cake in her car(i sit infront dat time).. n her bro sure saw that..

then..... after da day, her bro say why i no treat him.. n keep on asking cake in a kidding tune.. haha.. when ever he saw mi.. sure ask where is his secret recipe cake.. lols.. then i say i change mi name into cake better.. i also dunno why i saying that.. lols.. manatau... after that he keep on calling mi CAKE!! really swt lol.. really swt lik hell.. =.=lll

LaTe PoSt.. =.= : Nikko XpeRieNcE~

2 weeks.. i dodnt post anything here and now. I'M BACK~!! wakakakaa

this time.. i would like to talk bout my first real working experience.. fuh.. i only can say.. is dam nice if without the low heels shoe that i bought.. curious what happen..?? haha.. im gonna tell now~

at first.. i take part for the part time job that in Nikko Hotel.. 5 star man.. cool giler.. dats a chiniese wedding dinner.. at that sat.. i told my mum that i will work till 9 only coz i scat that she will be worry if i bac late.. actually is till 11pm d ler.. after lecture class, my classmate that working also d went to my house.. hmm.. xiao hui, maggie n yin mei(not every1 lik her) is those who working d.. those is not working d is munz, rainbow n hui wen.. jz imagine dat.. 7 ppl including mi inmy small little room.. haha..

munz went there to help mi make up while waiting her sis to fetch her.. but actually, is 6 ppl only d.. coz dat time yin mei not yet come to my house.. when she came.. she straight ask hu help mi make up d.. she wan also.. actually she come to make up only lo.. thn.. munz hv to help her to make up.. may she is kinda quiet d ppl n seldom mix with ppl.. so.. not every1 familiar with her some dislike her for some reason.. dat time munz face look shitty.. nah.. jz imagine that.. wakakaa~ funny sia..

after that.. 4 of us, xiao hui, maggie, yin mei n mi go take lrt to d hotel.. n start our part time job after breifing n take our uniform.. d uniform not really nice lor.. so sad.. haha.. most of them are serce tables d.. but mi.. is serve beverages d.. jz imagine.. taking those drinks walk in n out in the ball room.. hell man.. really hell.. n i wore a not suitable d shoe.. whn the wedding dinner nearly end.. 'krak!' grats mi.. 1 of my heel BROKE!! n my leg pain lik HELL!! REALLY HELL LER!!!

thn.. whn we take our salary.. RM52.. hah~!! jz gain experience.. hu cares bout d salary.. but the worst thing happen behind.. after we took our handphone.. is past 12am already.. when i on my hp.. FUIYO!!! 10+ of msg from my mom~!! OMG~!! after that.. here comes those phone call.. at first is my housemate.. then maggie pass mi her hp.. says dat my roomate finding mi.. thn.. i knoe im in BIG TROUBLE ady.. my mom keep on finding mi since 9pm.. oh GOD.. let mi die.. after i talk to my roomate, i called up my mom.. jz say that i OT coz have to tidy all hose things only can bac and my hp cant bring along with mi.. IM SUCH A FAIL DAUGHTER!! i make my mom worry mi till midnight....

after dat.. munz call maggie.. say that my roomate call up her.. huiyo.. my roomate really pro.. how she get my fren d hp num d ar?? lols.. until now i also dunno.. is her top secret.. lols.. b4 that.. maggie settled our problem to bac home.. coz dat time no lrt ady.. have to back by own.. dam Nikko~!!

another funny part is actually maggie wan to call her 2nd bro to fetch her.. coz her big bro dunno d way to d hotel.. then dunno how liao end up as her big bro fetch mi, maggie n luan luan, my another classmate, bac.. funny sia.. but all i can say is her big bro really a nice bro.. he take care of maggie really well.. n yet n nice, funny, frenly, n lame pro person.. hahaa~!!

dats my working experience.. is really glad to gain that experience though is a bit hard.. and shoe.. say bye bye within half day.. fuiyo.. i really pro man.. haha~!!

mY 2nD HoUsE..

my medal n cutie that hang on d balcony door~

the view frm d balcony..

my bed~!! seems messy right?? haha~!! ^o^

MuMmY n mE ^^

my look after make up.. haha.. im totally different from usual.. ^^

OuR MeMoRiEs~!!

frm left to right : qi li, ah wei, cloudy, me, meicy, ah paa, sharon and kai ji(sharon's bf)

mY FaMiLy at TBR~!!

i never mention bout my housemate in this blog before.. so, im goin to mention them this time.. they are really my lovely family.. ^^

first of all.. i would like intro bout my house condition.. there are 2 gangs in my house. 1 is my gang and 1 more is those who dislike my room mate, cloudy.. this situation happens b4 i stay in that house..

okie.. forget bout the unhappy things and persons..

cloudy.. my dearest roomate who is taking accounting advance in tarc also.. she is a very nice, frenly, cute, and etc person.. i oni can find those positive points frm her.. bout d negetive.. haha.. really less bout dat.. she always take care of mi.. im soo glad to hv a roommate lik her..

meicy, nick name ah maa.. she is someone who live in beside my room.. she is fantastic.. a combination of cute n cool.. haha.. i think she will kill me if she see this.. lols.. she is d 2nd person dat i really close with.. she is taking tourism yr 2 in tarc also.. cool rite?? i wish i can same lik her.. able to proceed to year 2 safely~ haha!!

sharon aka xiao fen.. same room with meicy d.. she is another nice girl dat can play till crazy with me.. can consider as d most playful girl in her room~ haha.. her bf is at her hometown, melaka.. both of them r in stable relationship.. im glad dat she found her hapiness~ ^^

qi li aka kelly.. another unavailble girl among them.. but she is more lucky thn sharon because her bf live at tbr also.. yup.. they started their love story here.. haha.. kinda romantic rite?? she is very frenly n always likes to take care of ppl.. but 1 thing bad is she always argue with her bf even a tiny problem.. all of us always very worry whn they argue.. hais.. =.=

ah wei aka mr ah wei.. qi li's bf.. a very funny n nice person.. i think 'nice' is not really suit.. dam nice is more suit.. till.. he always listen to qi li.. haha.. he always bring us out to hv dinner whenever he can borrow car frm his bro..

cai yun aka ah paa.. she can considered as my ex housemate.. but she moved liao cause som problem happened.. now she is working and still keep in touch with us ler~!!

yvonne.. my roommate d ex roommate.. now she is working nearby klcc thr.. and staying with her bf in d same house.. d house that they stay jz nearby ourhouse.. so, we do go out 4 dinner sometimes.. ^^

zi wei.. yvonne's bf.. another nice n funny guy.. haha.. he always talk sumthing that ppl cant xpect.. but slighty better thn ah wei lo.. haha.. mr ah wei dun angry ar~!! ^^

dats my family in tbr.. without them.. my life there will be colourless~ >.< i really cant imagine bout that..

everyday is full with fun, excitement, laugh, and tears~ im glad.. im really glad to know u all~ is my pleasure to know u all~!!

mY ReSuLts..

18 oct.. d day dat i get my first sem result.. im so nervous since d morning..
till.. i reach my hometown n check 4 it.. phew.. no fail.. lucky~ ^^
but.. i dun hv any A either.. haiz.. i guess im not hardworking enough whn last sem..

nvm.. i think im goin to get a new handphone or laptop from my parents.. hmm.. perhaps.. both if can.. hahahaa~~ @_@

d DeViLs

hmm.. lets see.. what should i post as my first post?? =.=

when i trying to post here.. im chatting with my brother's roomate.. a 20 years old guy who is really like to bully me.. he like to act good infront of my parents when infront of my parents.. but.. when my parents turn around.. hmph!! he bully me!! so sad.. ~~>.<~~ even my oen brother is helping him.. so.. in the end.. poor little karman get bullied by the devils!!

i had been finding a way to revenge bac.. but failed.. so sad!! haiz~ pity me..

nvm.. i think i will be able o revenge 1 day d.. muahahhaa!! xD