iS Jz FoR u..

because of u.. i found myself..
because of u.. i found my heart..
because of u.. i know what is love..
because of u.. i know i love you..

but.. i not dare to say out..
but.. i not dare to admit it..
but.. i cant do anything..
but.. i cant let u know i love you..

im so stupid..
im so greedy..
im so coward..
im so useless..

tOo MuCh tO SaY..

is too much thinggy to let mi to post n say.. i cant post n type in all in same time.. is all in my mind.. my memories.. no matter good or bad.. laughs or tears.. i dont know how to post it all in the same time..

in future ba.. i will post it.. is my memories.. no matter what.. i will post it.. lols.. i keep on repeating that i will post it.. if i didnt.. thn mah cham lor...??

i found that i really like to cry recently.. i wonder why??
izzit i too stress..? or i jz wan cry to release my stress??
i too miss home?? i found that im very useless??
i found that im not perfect?? i found that no matter how hard i tried, i still cant do the best??
i feel that my life suddenly become colourless?? i feel that.. not everything had gone the path that i expected??
i feel that i cant solve those unpredictable problems?? i feel that i really useless no matter how i try to be hardworking??
i feel that im too stupid to let people play lik a fool?? i feel that i cant reject ppls help no matter how i much i hate the person??

is too much to complete.. is too mch to say.. is too much for me.....

im trying my best to be the best i could.. im still learning.. no matter what.. i will do the best.. no matter how many times i fell down.. i will stand up and continue my road.. my path.. no matter how much my blood had bleed.. i will still walk to my target.. no matter how hard is the path.. i will complete it.. till the end of my life....

Sudden 'pop out' thoughts..

having u in my life is the most wonderful thing that ever happened.. tell me.. if i let u choose between fish and bear palm.. which will u choose?? jz lik in our life.. we cant choose both at the same time.. in order to get something, we have to sacrifice something..

between love n study, i choose study.. between family and study, i choose family.. no matter what.. i know that family always first.. study 2nd n love..?? 3rd or 4th..

i dun plan to be single forever.. but dun think to marry that fast also.. life is wonderful.. is full of colours.. i wish to enjoy my life.. let everything to be natural.. ^^ natural always the best.. haha

HoMe sWeEt HoMe

after 2 weeks i didnt bac to seremban.. i found that no matter where am i.. i will always wish to bac home..

jz now.. when i just bac to home.. just dad and bro around.. mum had went to sepang for some work.. i look at my dad.. i found that.. i almost 1 month didnt see my dad.. whn i look at my bro.. hmm.. even worst... i think i had 2 month didnt see that fatty bro..


thn.. we had lunch.. baked beans with onion, fried japanese tofu and fried mixed vegetables.. even though is simple.. but i can feel my mums heart when she preparing and cooking those dishes for us.. my tears almost coming out when eating.. though 2 of the dishes is canned food.. though those dishes are really simple.. though all my family members not sitting around the dining table n have meal as last time.. but i really appriciate that moment.. the moment that i can gather with my family..

Home.. is the warmest place in the world.. mum.. dad.. bro.. im bac.. i miss u all so much.. i love u all...

KeNt

hmm.. y i use a person name for this post.. hehe..
dun simply guess oo.. he is 1 of my special fren.. how special?? dun ask mi bout dat.. lols..

i rmb.. d way i noe him.. id from maple story.. an on9 game.. he is a really nice and frenly person.. i lik to talk to him.. ^^ is an enjoy to talk to him.. no stress.. nth to hide frm.. haha..

n d first time i meet him in real world is coz i ask him for a help in my pratical work.. i really appriciate him.. really.. he always willing to listen to me, gv mi opinion and offer help to me..
im glad.. im really glad to hv a nice fren lik him.. i will never regret to hv a fren lik him.. ^^

thank a lot kent~ this is a special post for u only d~ ^^ hehe~~

sHoUt OuT!!

plz.. gimme d defination of group work.. i wonder y shd i doin this alone??
WHY?? ok.. nvm la.. i can do it alone.. but.. at least u all ask me do i hv any help anot la..
why la all shut up like dunno what happen?? im jz a normal human.. im not perfect n not super.. dont think that im all purpose.. im jz a normal human being who try to be the bast i could..

plz.. gimme some time to let mi relax myself.. i cant breath ady.. i feel lik an invisible rope hanging on my neck.. and.. im struggling for fresh air.. for a moment to breath.. i will be greatful for that.. thanks.. >.<

by
=HaLf_DeAd_KaRMaN=

CaKe LuM..?? WTH??!!

i got a new nicname.. CAKE in chinese.. swt rite?? guess hu gv mi dat funny d nick name.. is MAGGIE'S BIG BRO!!

it happens lik that.. got 1 day, maggie fetch mi to her stall eat lunch coz i never been to her stall b4.. after that, we went to jusco wanga to buy sushi n have a walk while waiting her big bro to bac from KLCC.. when we pass by secret recipe.. i went in to buy my fav cake.. n maggie saw a white chocolate cake.. she told mi that she likes white chocolate very much.. so i decided to buy a slice of that for her coz she treat mi lunch at her stall just now..

bout 4.15pm.. finally her bro bac by lrt to wangsa station.. so we went to fetch her bro n his fren.. the conversation between maggie n her bro really funny.. haha.. when maggie drop mi at my home there.. i jz go down n leave the cake in her car(i sit infront dat time).. n her bro sure saw that..

then..... after da day, her bro say why i no treat him.. n keep on asking cake in a kidding tune.. haha.. when ever he saw mi.. sure ask where is his secret recipe cake.. lols.. then i say i change mi name into cake better.. i also dunno why i saying that.. lols.. manatau... after that he keep on calling mi CAKE!! really swt lol.. really swt lik hell.. =.=lll

LaTe PoSt.. =.= : Nikko XpeRieNcE~

2 weeks.. i dodnt post anything here and now. I'M BACK~!! wakakakaa

this time.. i would like to talk bout my first real working experience.. fuh.. i only can say.. is dam nice if without the low heels shoe that i bought.. curious what happen..?? haha.. im gonna tell now~

at first.. i take part for the part time job that in Nikko Hotel.. 5 star man.. cool giler.. dats a chiniese wedding dinner.. at that sat.. i told my mum that i will work till 9 only coz i scat that she will be worry if i bac late.. actually is till 11pm d ler.. after lecture class, my classmate that working also d went to my house.. hmm.. xiao hui, maggie n yin mei(not every1 lik her) is those who working d.. those is not working d is munz, rainbow n hui wen.. jz imagine dat.. 7 ppl including mi inmy small little room.. haha..

munz went there to help mi make up while waiting her sis to fetch her.. but actually, is 6 ppl only d.. coz dat time yin mei not yet come to my house.. when she came.. she straight ask hu help mi make up d.. she wan also.. actually she come to make up only lo.. thn.. munz hv to help her to make up.. may she is kinda quiet d ppl n seldom mix with ppl.. so.. not every1 familiar with her some dislike her for some reason.. dat time munz face look shitty.. nah.. jz imagine that.. wakakaa~ funny sia..

after that.. 4 of us, xiao hui, maggie, yin mei n mi go take lrt to d hotel.. n start our part time job after breifing n take our uniform.. d uniform not really nice lor.. so sad.. haha.. most of them are serce tables d.. but mi.. is serve beverages d.. jz imagine.. taking those drinks walk in n out in the ball room.. hell man.. really hell.. n i wore a not suitable d shoe.. whn the wedding dinner nearly end.. 'krak!' grats mi.. 1 of my heel BROKE!! n my leg pain lik HELL!! REALLY HELL LER!!!

thn.. whn we take our salary.. RM52.. hah~!! jz gain experience.. hu cares bout d salary.. but the worst thing happen behind.. after we took our handphone.. is past 12am already.. when i on my hp.. FUIYO!!! 10+ of msg from my mom~!! OMG~!! after that.. here comes those phone call.. at first is my housemate.. then maggie pass mi her hp.. says dat my roomate finding mi.. thn.. i knoe im in BIG TROUBLE ady.. my mom keep on finding mi since 9pm.. oh GOD.. let mi die.. after i talk to my roomate, i called up my mom.. jz say that i OT coz have to tidy all hose things only can bac and my hp cant bring along with mi.. IM SUCH A FAIL DAUGHTER!! i make my mom worry mi till midnight....

after dat.. munz call maggie.. say that my roomate call up her.. huiyo.. my roomate really pro.. how she get my fren d hp num d ar?? lols.. until now i also dunno.. is her top secret.. lols.. b4 that.. maggie settled our problem to bac home.. coz dat time no lrt ady.. have to back by own.. dam Nikko~!!

another funny part is actually maggie wan to call her 2nd bro to fetch her.. coz her big bro dunno d way to d hotel.. then dunno how liao end up as her big bro fetch mi, maggie n luan luan, my another classmate, bac.. funny sia.. but all i can say is her big bro really a nice bro.. he take care of maggie really well.. n yet n nice, funny, frenly, n lame pro person.. hahaa~!!

dats my working experience.. is really glad to gain that experience though is a bit hard.. and shoe.. say bye bye within half day.. fuiyo.. i really pro man.. haha~!!