life...?

im getting tired of this.. really tired.. looking at the same ppl.. facing the same attitude.. hearing the same thing bout the same person.. is there any changes??

I WAN SOME CHANGES!!

i guess i do start to change myself a bit..
hmm.. walk bac frm col.. trying to enjoy the time whn i walk back.. but i noe.. there will be no one waiting for mi at home.. no one will say "welcome back".. the only thing that wait for me is my dad d laptop.. quietly lying on my table.. waiting me to switch on it......

i cried.. few time whn i walk back from col.. walking alone on the street.. listening to my old mp3.. the same songs played over n over.....

whn i reached home.. i try to make myself as busy as possible.. mayb someone will say.. 'why dun u jz hang out wit frenz?' haha.. will there any difference...?? whn i reach home.. i still alone.. n im afraid dat i will get used to depends on frenz....

im not a cry baby.. but my tears will automatically flow out.. i guess i over control my feelings in front of ppl.. i dun wan my housemate to worry me.. i dun wan my frenz to worry me either.. all i can do is enjoy the time whn i was with them.. hah~ sure i do enjoy that..

recently.. my old injury come bac.. stupid right leg.. sigh~ i wonder whn oni i recover again from the dam injury.. i guess my leg gonna wrapped lik an elephant leg again.. with all those chinese herbs smell.. faint down.. dat dun bother mi till whn i nid to bath.. i only can laugh at myself with the stupid look.....

whn.. whn oni i can fly up to the sky...?? haha.. i dun mean dat i really wanna fly in d sky.. jz.. a description.. or all i can say this sentance jz pop out of my mind.. haha.. an ordinary person said nonsence d word.. wat an idiot....

btw.. loong.. thanks for the purple crystal that u gave me last time.. the memories make me smiles.. n.. tell u what.. that crystal is my guradian crystal now.. i guess u wun xpect dat ba.. even though u said dat u gave mi is to protect me.. haha.. i never change anything on d crystal.. even the necklace.. jz.. it cracked.. dun ask mi the reason.. i feel bad to tell u bout dat.. dun ask dun ask.. hehe.. i guess is too late tell tell u.. even though i jz told u on ur bday.. n.. i still lik last time.. can sense ur msg whn it almost arrive.. haha.. mayb jz ngam ngam i sense dao ba.. haha...

sumore.. munz n bao bei said i used to stare at 1 point wit a mood look.. hmm.. now i nid to xplain here.. i jz thinking wat i shd do.. sumtimes thinking sth till forgetting others liao ma.. not purposly d la.. if u wanna noe wat i thinking... xplore my brain ba.. haha.. anyway.. i will do dat less d la.. dun worry..

hmm.. half hour more to go to wake up sum1.. haha.. i guess i better stop here.. n continue my tutorial question first.. if cant finish thn cham liao loo......

nites.. everyone.. ~.~

Future Path

seeing most of my housemate hv problems whn their training n internship.. i realised.. i shd decide my path also.. even im still in diploma yr 1... kinda early to decide dat also.. but i guess is not dat late until i will face my training at d end of year 2..

first, whr shd i choose for my working place..?? is not lik i decide to work in hotel, resorts or wat.. but is shd i choose in kl? in seremban? or somewhere else dat i never been to live??

for myself.. i hope dat i can go somewhere elso to work.. any state in M'sia.. or i hv a chance.. i wan to go overseas.. everyplace have their diff culture n living style.. i wish to experience d difference..

if in kl.. first is bout d hectic life to stuck in jam.. working is not tiring.. but stuck in d jam is making ppl to get insane.. if i can.. i wun choose to work in kl..

in seremban.. is near my home.. is better n can take care of my parents.. but.. i dun think dat my parents want me to stay beside them forever n lik a child dat never grow up.. i shd go look around the world with my own eyes n gain the experience..

my roomate said sth dat make mi thinks a lot..

human are all alone, since they are born n til the end of their day..

i guess i kinda agree with that statement also.. as an example la.. if u work alone n a company n get scold by ur supervisor.. will any1 stand out n help u?? will any1 comfort u??

i dont mean dat all those ppl r cold blooded.. for me.. geting scold means dat i stil can do better that i did b4.. so.. take it urself n make n improvement.. even though getting scold really can make ppl feels bad.. really bad.. haha..

uhm.. i heard this phrase sumwhere else also d.. i guess is frm an anime.. (ps: im an anime freak)

u nid to completely get beaten down before u learn how to stand up by urself..

this theory jz lik a lion push the cub frm the hill.. let d kid to learn how to survive with their own skill.. i guess im lucky.. coz my parents didnt throw me out whn im learning to survive.. hahaaha~

no matter what.. parents always worried bout their kids.. hm.. they have weird combination also d.. one is they afraid dat their child cant survive in d competition in d society now.. but.. if they let thm hv their full freedom.. will d children noe how to organize d use of their freedom..?? i guess they might have some bad record in d police station b4 d age of 18..

sigh.. this world is fair n cruel.. jz depends how u look at it.. u cant make a perfect choice.. jz lik in order to get sth.. u nid to prepare dat sth will need to be sacrificed.. this is wat they call scarcity..
dat makes mi rmb bac my economy teacher.. is so dam realistic..

so.. expose urself to d world ba.. get the experience.. any experience also will become your memory whn old.. dont doubt bout d future.. dont regret once u decide on sth.. thrs nth such as reverse bac the time.. treasure the evry moment ba..

lectured by,
Karman

Otani & Koizumi (All Hanshyin Kyojin)

y i wan to put those 2 name as my title..??

uhm well.. i will tell here.. ^^

both of them r d main character in Lovely Complex.. (dats an anime)

i learn kinda things in there.. theres too many to tell about.. so i would conclude some here..

Q: will u lik someone that shorter thn u?
A: thrs nth to care if u love someone.. love is unlimited to any terms n conditions.. u cant sign an agreement for dat.. haha

Q: wat will u do if u get rejected by the same person TWICE??
A: go for it!! even u SAID dat u wil gv up.. but apparently.. u heart n mind THINK dat u cant gv up n will fight till the last moment!!

okie.. so i shd recomend u all to watch d anime.. haha.. if want thn can borrow from me d~ ^^

unspoken words...

i guess im getting a bit emotional... i thought dat my tears had dried out.. but.. it keep on flowing out.. i wonder why....

thers no reason i shd cry.. i guess.. i feel guilty n bad ba.. if im in d position.. i sure will angry too.. n of coz.. a promise dat cant be kept.. wat a thing.. sigh..

da jie.. sorry.. really sorry.. i dunno wat i can say xcept keep on apologize ler.. anyway~ u r d best in my heart~!!

losing my appetite..

i wonder wat happen to me recently.. jz lik kip on losing my appetite.. d food hardly attract me to eat it.. hais.. i guess i used to mum's cooking whn holiday ba.. keep on looking forward to go back home... but this week mum goin to penang.. n i have test on sat also.. hais.. cant go back liao.. uhm well.. i guess im goin to cook on sat i think.. even only have a rice cooker.. nvm.. at least can make porridge.. fried vege.. or i can try cook at downstairs... as long got gas la.. hahahaaa..

anyway.. im trying my best to get back my appetite.. but lucky now.. even i dun hv appetite.. but i still got eat some d.. jz skip some meal oni ma.. haha.. XD

hope dat i wil have back my appetite soon ba..

Alone

A dry breeze is blowing
The city is getting cold
I wonder how many seasons have passed
without even a sound?

All of the people coming and going
bear heavy burdens,
searching for tomorrow
within the heat haze wavering in the distance.

Feelings like sand
falling through my hands...
Back then, the words that pierced my heart
suddenly started to throb with pain, but...

I've searched for pieces of myself,
counting the endless nights all the while.
These feelings are becoming so certain
I almost lose myself.
Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far.

I wonder, why is the sky so vast?
Even though I tried to yell, my voice didn't come...
and the tears poured out...

I wonder where the birds are flying off to,
as they freely slice through the wind?
One can't return to the same place
as it once was in days gone by.

Even if I give up my dream like this,
I won't suppress my soaring heartbeat.
Someday, I want to reach as high as the clouds.
I'll spread wide the wings in my heart and journey once again

I will reach it, without fail.

I've searched for pieces of myself,
counting the endless nights all the while.
These feelings are becoming so certain
I almost lose myself.
Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far.

neh neh neh~~ RESULTS!!

results out liao luu.. hm.. im glad i didnt fail.. but seeing my frenz around me didnt get their ideal results.. dat make mi feel bad..

1st is munz.. she cried.. uhm.. i had tried my best to comfort her.. but dat didnt seems any better.. n she still cried whn reach bao bei's house.. bao bei d housemate were shocked.. oh my.. their xpression were soo funny.. thn bili bala bili bala.. n rainbow n d gang here... n bili bala bili bala sumore.. n finally mr eddie cum to bao bei house also.. since we r eating lunch at bao bei house coz she goin to cook.. d best part is we close eddie n munz in bao bei d room.. thn... uhm.. a dramatic xtra loud conversation begins.. even im in d kitchen also can heard dat.. afta dat munz seem be better.. oh well.. i guess im not dat good in comforting ppl.. hah!

2nd is bao bei.. she checked her results also.. n i see her.. dsnt feel dat good as well.. she jz lik trying hard to pretend dat she is nth.. n yet munz keep on mentioning bout d result.. hmm.. i really feel bad for her.. hope dat she will look thru dat in a positive way ba... cheer up bao bei!!! a big big kiss for u~ MUACKS!!!!

3rd is rainbow.. i know her results whn on d way to col wit bao bei.. she told mi dat her results is not good.. but she get thru dat i think..

uhm.... i dunno wat shd i do for my frenz xcept cheering for them.. i guess i might able to help a bit in their subs.. perhaps.. i really could help them.. anyway.. im not dat good either.. jz lucky a bit ba.. if not i really dunno how to xplain my situation ady.. hais haizzzzzz~~